Change is never easy, and not often welcome. Looking back over the past twenty-eight years, I have experienced a lot of change; historically, culturally and personally. The Cold War is over, the Berlin Wall has fallen, as has the Soviet Union and its satellites. Those were the biggest historical changes I could quickly recall. Culturally, I never thought gays and lesbians would be allowed to be legally married. And now I have been; and also legally divorced. I have come out to a class at my school with nary a word from parents, and strong student support. I am both amazed at the advances of attitudes, and surprised at the lack of others. True, there are those who still need an adjustment. I'm not going to address personal changes as I have explored many of them here.
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| October 18, 2008 My wedding |
Yet, I feel one more change is in the air. I am not sure exactly what it is. A financial windfall? That would be great, but the Universe seldom works like that. A change in attitude toward teaching? That is mine to work on and I will be this coming year. Perhaps, an openness to crossing a particular bridge with the right man? Maybe so. I think it's time I, carefully and safely, begin to explore that one aspect of my gay side that has been truly undiscovered all this time.
What exactly are my limits in the bedroom? What do I specifically like, and really don't? What can I accept in a partner and do to make him happy?
While the next school year is going to be fraught with work, for all the other projects I've taken on, and therefore taking up MORE time, I feel something is up, there's an electricity in the air, or maybe just in me. I can sense something. This is just when the Universe may bring someone into my life.
Sometimes, the Universe just does work like that.
So great that you are feeling that way! Awesome. And how jealous to know you COULD retire (if it weren't for finances). :-)
ReplyDeleteGreat year ahead. I know it!
Yes, I feel it, too. It does feel good, yet, I'm unsure where it's coming from. Maybe it's my attitude, or there is indeed something in the air. But, it's best to just let it happen.
DeleteAnd not overthink it. ;)
Thanks for your comment!
Jeff, you've moved into a more positive role of optimism. Stay there, and only good things can happen. May the next year bring nothing but good thoughts for you.
DeleteThank you, Nancy! I've always tried to be optimistic, even when the ex left, I knew I'd be better off. But, now, it feels different. Somehow. We shall see. Stay tuned!
DeleteJeff, wishing you all the best in this coming year.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jutti!
DeleteI wish you the best, too.
Thanks for your comment!
One of the joys of teaching is the sense of renewal that so often comes in summer. We're worn down by April, but the extended time out of the classroom helps to sort through what is truly important, set new goals and go forward with optimism restored. Looks like you've reached that point. Awesome! Hoping the year ahead is bright!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kind wishes regarding next year. I hope yours is as normal as can be expected with all the live wires we have to keep grounded.
DeleteThis year my district decided to begin our school year three weeks early, thereby cutting down our renewal time. We will, return to a regular summer break next year. This should be an interesting beginning of a new year.
Thanks again for your comment!