It’s that time again; a new month and time to check in with my reading for this year. The Page of Swords was my card for August.
As I’ve mentioned a few times, Swords is the suit that represents our mind and whatever goes on up there; logic, thought, understanding, truths, communication, etc.
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| Rider Waite Smith Tarot Public Domain |
The Page of Swords is learning to identify their truths, how to reason, to determine fact from fiction and also how to express their ideas and perhaps even when to hold back from expressing them. Being young, the Page is still eager to learn and therefore can likely make some mistakes along the way. If the entire suit represents the mind and all the activity that goes on in our heads, then the sword itself represents the individual thought. In the Rider Waite Smith Tarot, we see the young Page posing as if ready to swing his sword. So, this would suggest the Page is ready to cut through to the heart of the matter or say what is on their mind.
In the Grimalkin Tarot, by MJ Cullinane, which I used for this year's reading, we see a kitten discovering the power of its voice. It's calling out for someone to listen, to pay attention to it. The swallows represent making swift decisions, the dove represents a pure heart and integrity. So, the Page of Swords is learning to speak with a pure heart and integrity.
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| Grimalkin Tarot (C) 2020 MJ Cullinane |
I don’t believe we are post-pandemic nor even close, but with things beginning to open up, I stepped way out of my pandemic-induced comfort zone this past month. I mean I stepped waaaaaaaaaaay out of my comfort zone. I stepped so far out of it, I ended up 1,960 miles away.
I visited my mother. In Georgia. Rural Georgia.
Now, I must say, my mother and I are close. Even if our politics are different. She was the only member of my family who initially stood by me when I came out to them. She has been supportive of me and my partners. She cried when my first partner died saying she felt like she’d lost a son-in-law. She was a long distance shoulder to cry on when my second partner divorced me. So, just visiting her doesn’t trigger any anxiety. Or, it hadn’t in the past.
This is where stress and anxiety have begun to creep into my visits. It’s about how we express our differences. She has always suggested we should not mention or discuss them so as not to start an argument.
Easier said than done.
They say that to see how spiritually progressed you are, spend time with your blood family. Then you can see how far along your journey you have come. Or how much further you have to go.
The last couple of visits, she’s been expressing her views more frequently; on climate change, on the presidents-mostly the Democratic ones, on the Democratic Party, on Charter Schools, the Tarot cards. To be fair, she does admit that she's been disappointed in the Republican Party for some time and has left it, but she still holds conservative views.
This trip I vowed not to react. Even internally. At her age, will she change? Will she even listen to me if only to attempt to understand my point of view and not what she thinks my point of view is? In the past, I’d react and we’d end up shouting at each other and my blood pressure would rise. I mean it’s already higher when I’m there since I'm not in the secure comfort of my home and sanctuary. So, why should I aggravate it any further?
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| The view from my mother's balcony |
On my first full day there, it started and I’m not sure what started it. She likes to crochet and buys her supplies at Michaels, JoAnn’s or Hobby Lobby wherever she can find the yarn on sale. She began at some point about how she knew how I felt about Hobby Lobby and Chick-Fil-A but by boycotting them we are hurting the franchise owner and not necessarily the company which she then took this argument back to the 2010 BP boycott over the huge pipeline break and subsequent massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico and how the small stations were driven out of business due to the boycott. She also threw in the transgender bathroom issue at Target stores but still shops there. Then, she finished with “I know we’re going to disagree.”
“Yes, we’ll just have to disagree.”
That was my response. My only response. And that was the Page of Swords’ lesson: “Learn to speak your truths when and where possible, necessary and beneficial.” Would challenging her and trying to get her to see my point of view do any good? No. Again, we probably would have ended up in a shouting match and then angry and/or hurt. Would even expressing my point of view have done any good? Probably not.
Yet, now back home, I begin to wonder why I didn’t ask why she felt the need to even express her point of view knowing I had an opposing viewpoint? In my head, I see myself saying to her, “Is there a point to this discussion?” or "Why are you bringing this up?" Maybe she felt the need to justify why she shops at places she knows I disapprove of, perhaps seeking my approval of her. Yet, I still wonder if I had asked that question at least, what would have come of it?
As August has moved on, it is apparent the Page has sheathed their sword. I wish I could, too.
On to September and the 9 of Pentacles Reversed. Uh oh.
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| The 9 of Pentacles, The Grimalkin Tarot, (C) 2020 MJ Cullinane |
