A friend and I were discussing our spiritual journeys when he made an interesting comment regarding the mind.
“It’s an annoying tool,” he said.
While that intrigued me, it resonated at the same time. How can a tool be annoying?
As I sat back and marinated, or ruminated on, his idea, I understood better.
Our mind helps us in many ways:
- Following plot lines in movies and books
- Deciphering unintelligible speech in voicemails or from people with heavy accents
- Reading
- Studying
- Learning
- Solving problems
- Rationalizing
- Making decisions
And in those cases, the mind is an appropriate tool.
Like a hammer when hammering a nail into the wall to hang a picture.
But, when you accidentally hammer your thumb or finger, the hammer is not so appropriate. It’s not even annoying and it may end up in the garbage or thrown across the room. Then you’d need another one the next time you need to hang a picture on the wall. Or you’ll need to repair or replace whatever the hammer hit. Let’s hope it wasn’t something expensive or a living being.
In at least three of the above situations where we use our mind, it can become annoying, if not worse.
Sometimes when solving problems, other than in math class, we may overthink. Overthinking often leads to anxiety or depression depending on whether we’re thinking of the future or the past, respectively. For example, a therapist I was seeing suggested I find a nice community organization to volunteer with. It was his intention for me to get out and meet people to help me learn to manage my introversion and make friends. I immediately saw a problem; “what if someone asks me out?” And then panic set in. And all the connections to dating and what it could lead to…a second date, maybe a third, talk of sex, and eventually living together and possibly, even marriage.
I hadn’t even finished the therapy session and was already married to some stranger.
In my mind at least.
As I view rationalizing and making decisions similarly, I’ll address them jointly. But, first, I’ll define how I see them. And I’m not talking about a simple decision, like what color of shirt should I wear today.
Rationalizing, to me, is deciding whether to do something or not. That's it, a simple yes or no kind of situation. For example, should I go on vacation, yes or no? I can rationalize the simple things, like need or want. Do I need a vacation? Do I even want one?
Once that has been decided, and if the answer is affirmative, then the ‘where’ comes into play; Paris? Miami? Fresno? and all of the pros and cons for each location.
- Cost
- Language
- Duration of actual travel time
- Cuisine
- Local amusements and attractions
- How adventurous do I feel?
I feel the biggest problem with rationalizing and deciding are the ‘whatifs’. What if this…. What if that… What if he…
Yes, the mind can be either amazing or annoying, helpful or hindering.
It all depends on wether we use it or let it use us.
For an animated version of Shel Silverstein's poem, "Whatif" click here
