The Grimalkin

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

Well, October has given way to November and it's time to check in with my New Year's Reading and this post will be somewhat different than the rest.

One reason for the difference is the card itself.

For 2021, I used The Grimalkin Tarot by MJ Cullinane. And the card I pulled was the Grimalkin.

Now, this is not a card found in the traditional Rider Waite Smith deck. Ms. Cullinane felt inspired to create two additional cards for this deck and the Grimalkin is one of them.

But first, what exactly is a Grimalkin?

The Grimalkin, The Grimalkin Tarot
(C)2020, MJ Cullinane

According to Wikipedia, a grimalkin (also called a greymalkin) is an archaic term for a cat. It stems from "grey" (the color) plus "malkin", an archaic term with several meanings; a low class woman, a weakling, a mop, or a name deriving from a form of a pet name of the female name Maud. Scottish legend also references the grimalkin as a fairy cat that dwells in the highlands. Women tried as witches in the 16th, 17th and 18th centuries were often accused of having a familiar, frequently a grimalkin, thus associating cats with the devil and witchcraft.

Ms. Cullinane describes the energy of this card as that of healing, since many of the women who were tried as witches were actually midwives and well practiced in the herbal healing arts. She suggests that when the Grimalkin appears in a reading, it’s suggesting a need of healing, taking the time to go inward and learn to trust oneself, one’s intuition, as suggested by the bat, and one’s spirit. The snow in the card suggests finding a peaceful time to aid in some much needed introspection. The owl suggests magic and renewal while the fox suggests solitude to focus on problem solving.

I did find October to be a difficult month. And, yes, I probably should have called on the Grimalkin more frequently, spending more time nurturing myself and trusting my inner voice.

I had finished the remodel which then freed up my mind to continue its wandering as I had nothing more to occupy my attention and a great deal of my time. I was still haunted by the ghosts of past conversations from months ago I feel I should have had even if I knew at that time they'd wouldn't change a thing. I fell into a spiral of downward thinking, not knowing who or what to believe or even what I wanted any longer.

I also began to lack basic motivation, yet finished all my projects I had, even those not associated with the remodel. I stuck to my morning routine and walking regimen but felt myself falling off my pace but still kept pushing myself to achieve the goals I'd set.

In addition to the downward spiral of thought, it seems I also fell into a rut doing the same things every day.

Well, October is finally over and they say the only way from here is up.

November brings the 8 of Swords, but reversed. Hmmmmm

The 8 of Swords, The Grimalkin Tarot
(C)2020, MJ Cullinane

For more information on MJ Cullinane and her various decks, please click here.

A Stranger's Fear

I had a strange, unsettling experience the other day.

It was payday and I needed to buy groceries.

As I approached the door to one of the stores I frequent, I encountered an elderly woman also entering. I stepped to the side and gestured to let her enter first. She smiled and thanked me.

She was wearing something similar,
just not so elegant.

She had short curly salt and pepper hair with a tad more salt than pepper. She was short and leaning on a cart for support. Her facial features and clothing had a foreign appearance which reminded me of other south Asian women I’ve seen. As we meandered through the store each doing our own shopping, our paths criss-crossed a couple of times. 

Our next-to-last encounter is what prompted this post.

I was looking for something in the dairy section. I had my cart close to me and the cooler because to my right was a stocking cart for the dairy section making the aisle somewhat narrow. I felt a tap of something on my hip and turned around to find the woman looking at me with sheer fear in her eyes. “I’m so sorry!” she said. “It was an accident! I didn’t mean to!” She had bumped me with her cart.

The terror in her eyes and her face told me a lot more. She was terrified of my potential reaction.

These days, with people so prone to overreacting, I understood where she might be coming from, especially if she were an immigrant, as I suspected, as well as being a senior citizen as seniors are seen as being vulnerable. Especially senior women.

My empathy took over. It was merely a tap in a crowded grocery aisle. I wasn’t in pain. I didn’t fall. I did what I could to alleviate her fears, telling her that everything was okay. I wasn’t angry, hurt or anything. It wasn’t her fault. I even gently placed my hand on her shoulder in (hopefully) a reassuring and respectful way. Then I wished her a nice day and moved on.

Our paths crossed one final time at the check out. I hoped to catch her eye to smile once more, hopefully to continue to reassure her, but wasn’t able to. 

I think I was more upset that she perceived she might be accused of something, that I might blow this out of proportion. Yet, she drew on her background and the past experiences she carries with her and spontaneously reacted. I can’t fault her for that. It also bothers me that whatever she's experienced in the past drove her to react as she did. Also, she didn’t know me and how I might perceive this incident even after our prior meeting at the front door. After all, people can be so litigious.

I hope her day was a good one after that.

I’ll work on letting my own emotions settle.

But, like these waves, it may take some time.

Catalina Island, Pacific Side
Photo courtesy Jeffrey Ballam