Temperance in January

January was named after Janus, the Roman god of beginnings and endings. As such, he is depicted with two faces; one facing backward, the other forward. Perhaps this is why we often reflect back at the year ending as we also look forward in anticipation of the new year just beginning. What changes can we make to improve ourselves in the new year?

When I pulled the cards for my New Year Reading, I wasn’t surprised to see Temperance show up. To start off the New Year with a major card suggests it’s going to be a strong opening month.

Temperance,
Radiant RWS Tarot

In the traditional Rider Waite Smith card we see an angel standing with one foot on land and one foot in water while pouring water from one chalice into another. The positions of the feet suggest an attempt to remain grounded while in touch with emotions, symbolized by the water. I can also picture the angel pouring the water back and forth between the two chalices; from one into the other and back again, almost like a mixologist would do to find the perfect balance of ingredients for a cocktail. We also see a road leading from the water to a crown symbolizing our ego in the distance, suggesting that as we travel this path of balancing our emotions and groundedness, it will lead us to a greater sense of self.

And that is the message of Temperance-balance yourself between two extremes; emotions and groundedness, strengthen yourself but don’t be either a bully or a pushover, find the middle of the road of the extremes.

I used another artist/tarot reader’s deck this year for my reading, The Grimalkin Tarot, by MJ Cullinane. She themed this deck around cats. (For more information on MJ and her decks, click the link below.)

In her interpretation of Temperance, we see a cat walking a narrow ledge across a stream of water. One side of the stream is calm and then flows over the ledge down into some turbulent waters below, while some fish are leaping over the ledge into the calmer waters, all in front of the cat. Yet, the cat remains focused on crossing to the other side, not letting the fish distract it. Understanding that chaos and darkness are as much a part of life as calmness and light is key to finding balance. Finding and maintaining that balance will lead us to a path towards a solution. Yet, we can only find that path in moments of calm inspiration.

The Grimalkin Tarot
(c) 2020, MJ Cullinane

I found this card to fit January for a number of reasons.

Here in the US we are transitioning into a new Administration from the turbulent waters of the prior one into seemingly calmer waters of the new one. It still is early in this Administration and we are headed into uncharted waters with our first biracial, female Vice-President. I am sure there are some citizens of this country who might like to leap into these uncharted waters and stir things up to test her. As a country, we must remain focused on the goal of remaining united, however difficult that might be at this time and not let those leaping fish disturb these new waters.

Yet, this was my reading, not hers. Or the country’s.

I found myself very frustrated and anxious earlier this month. Yet, I tried to remain calm, grounded and balanced. I kept focusing on what I could do to remain in the present moment and not get caught up in what was going on around me where I had no control.

I had to keep my eyes on that goal. I had to get to the other side. In this case, it was past Inauguration Day. I needed to see that transfer of power and needed to see it happen peacefully.

I also had to maintain balance surrounding this pandemic and those who choose to still ignore what health officials continually remind us of:

• Wear a mask, and wear it correctly-over your nose and mouth;

• Practice social distancing-six feet (2 Meters) apart;

• Stop getting together with people outside your household;

• Stay home as much as possible-except for essential business.

With four newer, mutant, potentially more contagious strains of this virus running around (one was found each in Britain, South Africa, Brazil and California-though the latter is not as widespread-yet), I feel we are not out of the woods, nor will be for quite some time, as this is where we are with the common flu virus-new strains are constantly mutating to avoid vaccines. 

Yet, I can only manage myself. I am prepared to wear a mask the rest of my life, if needed. With all these new variants appearing, I just may have to.

Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash

I also found myself drowning in my own thoughts. Particularly over prickly conversations I anticipate having at some point in the future. When, exactly? I don’t know. Would I even have them? Would I need to? Yet, there they were formulating in my head, just in case I needed to have them. They were also formulating in various formats so I could be prepared for any scenario that might occur.

In my training to be a teacher, we were trained, drilled and reminded ad nauseum to anticipate all the questions our students might ask as we prepared lesson plans. Yet, invariably a student would ask a question I hadn’t anticipated. (And I don’t mean “Can I use the restroom?” Or other such questions. I always anticipated those.) So, this may be where my anticipating these conversations comes from.

These pre-conversations were galavanting around in my head, especially when I found myself in down time or in those pesky moments when I am trying to get to sleep or those hazy moments of not being fully awake in the morning; those semi-hypnotic moments were we drift in and out of a dream-state. During these times, I would focus more on my body and its contact with the bedclothes. Could I feel the sheet against my foot or my arm? Could I feel the weight of my hand as it lies upon my chest? What about the weight of the blanket, sheet and bedspread combined? But, maintaining this focus isn’t very easy when you continually awaken between 2:00 and 4:00 AM, daily.

Urban Crow Oracle
(c) 2020 MJ Cullinane

In her Urban Crow Oracle deck, MJ Cullinane refers to these types of conversations as ‘ghosts’, as these are conversations we wanted to have or feel we should have had in the past yet still haunt us. But, how can a conversation we feel we need to have in the future be a ghost? Maybe they’re just a premonition, or a pesky poltergeist? 

I think here is also where I need to invoke Temperance. I need to be aware that I may have to have these poltergeister-ish conversations, yet remain unsure of how they’ll go. There will be unexpected turns, comments I hadn’t anticipated and I’ll just have to deal with them at that time. Just like in teaching.

I’ll have to be okay with that.

And keep my eyes focused on the goal.

Maintaining balance.

Photo by Photoholgic on Unsplash

For information on MJ Cullinane, her decks and her art, please click here

7 Pentacles in March

Four of Pentacles
Bianco Nero Tarot

When I first saw the Four of Pentacles for February in my New Year Reading, I took it as a reminder to take control over my resources; manage my spending, improve my time management-time is also a resource, after all-and take better stock of my pantry and household supplies to make better shopping lists.

When the Seven of Pentacles followed the Four, I saw it as growth since seven is greater than four, both cards were upright and in the same suit. In other words, I'd have the resources I'd need and would have managed them well coming into March provided I learned to manage things better.

Seven of Pentacles
Rider Waite Smith Tarot

When we look at the Seven of Pentacles, in most decks we see a figure looking at a plant with some garden implement in their hand and a look of reflection on their face. As the story of Pentacles is, to me, a rags-to-riches story, I view the Seven as a time of reflection. Is it time to harvest what I have? Do I let the crop grow further and risk losing my gains by waiting too long? Is it ripe enough? Have I done enough work? Do I take it all out and start over? What more can I do and should I do it?

We can also apply these ideas to money. If I have an investment account, do I stay the course when the market gets bearish? Do I cut my losses and invest elsewhere? Or the reverse is also a consideration: At what point in a bullish market do I take my gains and risk not making more?

What about a job or career? Am I happy in my current situation? Can I throw more of myself into it and hope things will get better? Or do I leave and look for a possible better situation?

Or as a retiree, do I have enough of a pension to cover my expenses? What should I cut? Or should I look for a way to supplement my pension?

With the current global pandemic of COVID-19, little did I realize how much control I’d need over my spending and other resource management in March. I look at my pantry, and yes, it is full. My refrigerator is stocked with my essentials, though I will need to venture out for some produce and other items. Do I have enough of the other necessities; cleaning supplies, toiletries, etc? Better yet, do the stores? And if not, how do I manage with what I already have?

Seven of Pentacles
Bianco Nero Tarot

The Magician
Bianco Nero Tarot

This month will require a constant review of the resources I have and see what more I can use, maybe in different ways, which already seems to be the case as April’s card is the Magician Reversed.

Oh, joy.

Bianco Nero Tarot, Marco Proietto Author, (c) 2018, US Games, Inc.

Four Pentacles for February

Four of Pentacles
Rider Waite Smith Tarot

It’s that time again.

A new month brings a check-in with my New Year Reading. For February, I drew the Four of Pentacles.

Pentacles represents the physical aspect of our life; material, prosperity, abundance, etc. It also represents what we do or need; i.e., resources, work, labor, career, etc. to achieve the level of prosperity or abundance we require, however we define it, 

It can also reflect our connection to Earth and the resources the Earth provides us and our trust and commitment to the planet.

Each suit tells a story beginning with the Ace and culminating with the Ten. Pentacles tells a rags-to-riches story with the Ace offering a material opportunity and the Ten being the legacy left to the succeeding generation. By the time we reach the Four, some success has been achieved and the figure is clinging to his earnings fearful of overspending in case of a return to darker times yet wanting to maintain the current lifestyle to which the figure has now become accustomed. If the figure isn’t aware of his clinging, this could also lead to a hoarding situation, particularly if the card is reversed.

As Four is an even number, it can suggest balance in the story of the card. This is reflected in the save or spend mentality facing the person in the card. Does the figure save a little and spend a lot, or save a lot and spend a little? How does the figure maintain balance of his resources?

Numerologically, Four is also a number of stability. A stool can stand on three legs, yet four legs are more stable. So, here we see a beginning of a stable material situation.

Four of Pentacles,
Bianco Nero Tarot
by Marco Proietto

Yet, how did this apply to me in February?

I always see this card as a lesson to better manage my finances, especially now that I am retired. I must learn to control my impulsive spending or seek other avenues of revenue. Or, both.

Yet, I feel there was another lesson for these Pentacles, not necessarily of a material kind, though I’m not ignoring that message.

Mercury went retrograde this month. It hit me very hard. Harder than past Mercury retrogrades.

Retrograde is an astronomical phenomenon where a planet appears to be moving backwards in its orbit as the Earth moves along its own path, then catches up with and passes the planet in question. All planets go retrograde at some point and for varying lengths of time depending on their journey around the sun as it interacts with Earth’s orbit. Because of Mercury’s shorter orbit, it goes retrograde three times a year for about three weeks at a time whereas Pluto goes retrograde about once a year for about a six month period.

So what does this mean astrologically and how does this relate to me? I’m getting there.

When any planet goes retrograde, it can offer us a time to slow down and reflect on the lessons we supposedly learned during its latest transit, meaning which sign it is in for this current retrograde.

In general, Mercury is the planet of communication and short travel. Think of the guy with the winged shoes and hat who was the messenger of the Olympian gods. So, if he were sick and he couldn’t make the trip to deliver his messages, what could possibly go wrong? 

Mhm, you got it. Miscommunication, misunderstandings and the fallout from them. Also, as technology serves as a vehicle for telecommunication, it, too, can go haywire. 

Mercury

Now, this time good ol’ Merc went retro in Pisces, the sign of the fish. Two fish. Swimming opposed to each other. One swimming up, one diving deep. One reaches for the higher expanses of the heavens while the other plumbs the depths of the ocean. Yet, these two are somehow tethered to each other and sometimes straining to reach their intended goal. Pisces people can have an inner conflict of emotion (water, the ocean) and mind (air, the heavens/Spirit). Mercury also slipped a bit back into Aquarius, the water bearer, who pours his knowledge out of his urn onto the people below, hopefully illuminating them to his ways. As Pisces is a water sign (emotions) and Aquarius is an air sign (logic), we can also see the heart vs mind struggle amped up a bit in this retrograde. Pisces is also a mutable sign meaning Pisceans can adapt more easily to different situations. I sometimes see them like fish flopping around the dock trying to find their way back to safety.

So, how did this affect me and the Four of Pentacles?

Hang on.

For me, this became a difficult month, not only a bit financially, with the realization of really needing to control my impulse buying and to seriously look into other avenues of revenue. But, it was emotionally challenging, as well. 

But with Merc and the Fishies, I think those Pentacles took on a bit of a deviation from their traditional meaning. My tarot friends might look at me like I should have my tarot license revoked, if there were such a thing as a tarot license. 

What I noticed happening with me was some old wounds resurfacing in this retrograde. Okay, that’s typical for a retro situation anyway.

But, these wounds centered around being heard (there’s the communication aspect), being validated, feeling my self-worth, my own value. Ta Da! There’s the Pentacle connection.

My value. My own self-worth. So, maybe it’s not that much of deviance from their traditional meaning. I get to keep my license.

I’m trying to balance or find stability (there’s the 4) between expressing myself, wanting to be listened to and understood while accepting that the more I evolve spiritually and follow this path that I feel is my destiny, fewer and fewer people will be able to understand what I’m experiencing. They may accept me and support me, but who will understand me? Then, the other side of the Pentacle is, do they need to understand me or do I need them to in order to feel validated and less alone in this world? Or why do I even need to explain myself at all?

So, those are the Four Pentacles: self-expression, self-worth, self-acceptance, self-esteem.

Now, let’s march on to the card for the current month, the Seven of Pentacles. Oh, this should be fun. I can tell already I have my work cut out for me. Since seven is greater than four and both cards are Pentacles, the cards are suggesting period of possible growth in the physical/material aspect of my life.

Let's see. 

Seven of Pentacles,
Bianco Nero Tarot
by Marco Proietto

For more info on planets in retrograde, click here

The Knight of Swords Reversed

Radiant Tarot from
US Games

The first month of 2020 is over, so it’s time to check in with the card in my New Year reading which was the Knight of Swords, Reversed.

I must say I’ve been a bit puzzled as to what the Knight could teach me and as I tried to keep notes during the month, I felt stumped. But, I did come up with something.

First, what is his general message?

Swords is the suit of the mind and therefore suggests whatever goes on up in our heads; thoughts, ideas, logic, reason, knowledge and learning. Swords can also represent truth, communication and even justice, as true justice relies on facts and reason.

For me, the knights, in general, represent the age of those who have finished their "book learning" and are just setting out on their life quest; e.g., the rookie cop just out of the academy or the recent college graduate out to shake up the world with newfound knowledge as it relates to the theme of their suit. They just lack the life experience to either buoy their confidence or to help reign in their (over)enthusiasm therefore, they can be a bit unpredictable, anywhere from too naive to too hell-bent to fix the problems of the world as they see it in terms of their suit; in this case with the Knight of Swords, it’s his thoughts, ideas, and reasons which will make the world a better place. The Knight is brandishing a sword as he charges forward on his horse. Unlike the other knights of the deck, his horse is in full gallop ready to take his message the masses. So, he can be a bit of an aggressive know-it-all and definitely wants to be heard. And taken seriously.

Bianco Nero Tarot by
Marco Proietto

Yet, this Knight is reversed in my reading, which suggests I’m holding myself back from charging forward for some reason.

It finally dawned on me why that might be.

I grew up in a racist, misogynistic, homophobic, conservative home and I was expected to espouse those same values when among my friends. I have a memory from my early teens where I can clearly recall my stepfather saying those words in the dining room of our house. My first thought was “And how are you going to follow us around all day to make sure we do?” Innately, I also knew he was full of more than just shit. I knew I dare not express this thought out of fear of being slammed through the wall. Okay, maybe the idea of being slammed through a wall was a bit of a stretch, but the fear was very real. So, I learned to just keep my mouth shut.

Which meant I also learned that whatever I had to say would not be heard nor valued.

It’s a message that still resonates with me today.

And a lesson I still need to work on.

I recently posted a blog on this very subject where people express their concern for me. When I explain why I choose to live how I do, they ignore my explanations and continue their unsolicited advice about my life.

I am not heard.

Bianco Nero Tarot by
Marco Proietto

It hurts.

I’ve learned to shut up. 

I’m working on not getting triggered.

Some novels I’ve been working on have a deep spiritual message which seems to run very contradictory to the mainstream gay community. I’ve stopped working on them out of fear I won’t be heard, received poorly or highly criticized for my unconventional views.

I need to let that go and just write the stories for me; for my own catharsis.

So, I need to upright this Knight of Swords and just write. With the High Priestess at the center of this reading, I need to channel her energies of listening to and trusting my inner voice, put on my armor, get on my horse and charge forth brandishing my message.

And just trust that those who need to hear my message will.

And learn to let those those words which may criticize my message fall away under my horse's hooves.

Now let’s see what the 4 of Pentacles has in store for me in February. 

Bianco Nero Tarot by
Marco Proietto

A Year in Preview

With every holiday we have traditions. Sometimes we add new ones and discard those we've outgrown. With my studies in the Tarot now entering their third year, I've decided to continue with my new tradition of a New Year Reading. For this year, I decided to use a deck I'd purchased last year which seems to have a strong hold over me, the Bianco Nero Tarot by Marco Proietto.

As the spread unfolded, I was a bit put off thinking this would be a difficult year ahead. But, I'm taking a leaf from my ancestral crest and slogan, Forewarned is Forearmed. What triggered me was the large number of cards in the suit of Swords. Swords is the suit connected to our mind and therefore anything associated with it; logic, reasoning, thoughts, learning, communication, analyzing, etc. Out of thirteen cards in the spread, six are Swords and five of those are reversed! In short, I see a lot of mental activity ahead and perhaps a lot of blockages or delays in that mental activity. Possibly some overthinking could be in the cards. So, perhaps these reversals are suggesting I have an opportunity to right them by being aware of their forthcoming energies and pushing myself through them, again Forewarned is Forearmed. It's like having an earthquake kit at the ready for the eventual big one. (Note to self: check on the kit and make sure it's up to date.)

January charges in with the Knight of Swords Reversed. I view the Knights as eager young adults, recent graduates who are charging forth to share their views of the world. These eager young crusaders have a message to share with the world and the Knight of Swords has a lot to say as he is the knight of the mind. However, as he is reversed he could still be a bit unsure of himself and how he might be perceived or he is still a bit tentative in his mission. 

February and March have the 4 and 7 of Pentacles respectively. The 4 shows us a young nobleman who is holding on to some coins, as Pentacles is the suit of our material life. He seems to be a bit afraid of letting them go, kind of maintaining some control over his property. Perhaps he's recently come into some money and is afraid of losing it. The 7 shows a figure contemplating his garden, perhaps ready for the harvest. Does he reap his rewards now or wait and see if they grow larger? As I go from the 4 to the 7, the increase suggests growth. Perhaps I should recognize my control issues and reflect on them, getting ready to make some changes for the better. 

In April and May, I have The Magician and Wheel of Fortune respectively and both reversed, my first Major cards of the year adding some punch to these two months. The Magician Reversed is suggesting a possible blockage or delayed seeking of additional knowledge or resources or even taking action. Perhaps I'm not pushing myself as much as I need to as the Wheel of Fortune Reversed suggests things in my life, aren’t necessarily going according to plan or aren’t changing for the better or worse. Maybe the Wheel is stuck because the Magician isn't doing his job, which, in reality, is me.

The 8 of Swords Reversed comes in June and is followed in July by the 7, also reversed. The figure in the 8 is blindfolded and bound, unable to move forward. (If I recall, this card came up last year in February, also reversed.) As Swords is the suit of the mind, the swords themselves represent our thoughts. She can't move forward due to her own thoughts; she has trapped herself. Reversing this card would suggest she's freeing herself because the swords are falling out. The 7 shows a hooded and gloved figure reaching for some swords. Is he stealing them? Why would he need more than one? This card usually suggests some sort of deception or loss. This pairing could allude to a realization of some truth, freeing myself from my own prison of thoughts and any thoughts of deception or being deceived are fallen or cleared away.

The Queen of Wands enters in August and takes charge. She is the Queen of Fire. No, she's not a pyromaniac or a pyrophile, she just has a lot of fire energy. She knows what she wants and how to get it, she's one determined queen. She's also quite charming and uses her charms to get what she wants. She's also one to help those who help her succeed. Perhaps I come into a realization of my own take-charge self and shake things up a bit. She is followed in September by the 3 of Cups, a time of celebration and friendship which would suggest I succeed at something. Or I just have a nice party with some friends. Isn't Labor day in September?

The last quarter will be an interesting one, with the last three Swords coming in; the Reversed Queen in October, the 4 upright in November and the Ace reversed in December. The Queen of Swords has taken the lessons that her son, the Knight, is learning and now has some maturity to add to her message. She is an honest, witty woman who will tell the truth even if that sword cuts a bit. She is one to see both sides of an argument and seeks fairness in her advice. However, reversed she can be a bit cold. She might be a bit more biting in her advice, less inclined to her feminine intuition. 

Could the Queen be suggesting I either become a cold and detached person or am not speaking my truths clearly? Have I not learned from the Knight in January? The 4 in November shows a soldier at rest gathering his thoughts and strength to prepare for another upcoming battle. Perhaps this is suggesting a moment to rest and gather my thoughts for the future. Whatever is happening in these last two months isn’t necessarily cleared up in December as the Ace of Swords usually suggests a moment of clarity or truth. But, as it's reversed the clarity or truth is simply not there.

The High Priestess at the center of it all suggests I really will need to trust my inner voice and intuition this coming year. Perhaps with all the Swords being reversed and the High Priestess as the focal point, this will be a big year for me to learn from her to fully trust my own inner voice and let the swords fall out, wherever they may fall, but hoping no one gets cut in the process.

With Strength as my Card of the Year (see my previous post) and the High Priestess here in the center of my reading they will be a good pair as I can, and should, rely on my own Strength to follow the teachings of the High Priestess.

So, maybe it won't be such a difficult year after all. But I do have my work cut out for me.

November's Card

Nine of Wands
Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot

When I sat down to write my reflection on November’s card from my New Year's Reading, it dawned on me I already had written it in a way, sort of. Kinda.

My card for November was the Nine of Wands Reversed from the New Palladini Tarot.

When we look at the traditional card from the Rider-Waite-Smith deck, we see an injured young man, seemingly exhausted, leaning on a staff. He’s obviously looking off to one side. What’s going on over there that has caught his attention? Were his injuries sustained in some kind of battle? Is it still going on? Why does he have these other staffs with him? Did they belong to some of his fallen comrades? Curious minds want to know.

Nine of Rods (Wands)
New Palladini Tarot

Regardless of his injuries and exhaustion, he also appears to have the stamina to keep going, to fight on if he needs. Somehow, he’d muster the strength, courage and energy to do so like a good warrior. I like to think of this as a “don’t-mess-with-me-or-you-might-regret-it” card. 

But, in my reading, he’s reversed.

So, this changes things.

The reversal could suggest a full surrender, a giving up. Exhaustion has taken over. I’m done.

As I looked back at this card and the feeling of full surrender came over me, my previous post, The Doldrums, sprang to mind. 

In that post, I wrote that is seems like everything I've tried to motivate myself to find a direction in my social life and some increased economic opportunities did not pan out. So, I felt like throwing down the staff and just hibernating. After all, the first Spirit Guide I met was Bear, so hibernation would be quite fitting. Plus, winter is approaching and Bear People do tend to hibernate a bit in the winter.

Yet, that isn’t very healthy.

Or very fun.

But, something interesting occurred to me when I reviewed the card. Bear with me, it’s a stretch. Or a reach. But, whatever.

Upright, the figure is looking to the left. I view a reading as a snapshot of this current moment in time, of the Now. We often use a timeline to chronicle events from the past to the present. Traditionally, we place the events furthest in the past to the farthest left on the timeline and then proceed forward in time to the right. The events that injured the young man already occurred. They're in the past. I mean, he's already bandaged. 

My card turned up reversed, so now he’s looking to the right, into the future. So, maybe I feel like giving up now. But, as he’s looking to the right, into the future, I’m taking this as a sign to just keep plodding on as a new year is on the way. 

It’s like he’s saying, just wait. Don’t give up, even if you feel like it Right Now.

After all, the Hermit, (one of my favorite cards in the deck) is up next. But, he’s reversed, too.

What could that mean?

I guess I’ll find out.

The Hermit
New Palladini Tarot

To read my prior post, click here.