Swords and a Waterfall

Radiant RWS deck
(c)2003, US Games, Inc

November has given way to December and it's time to check in with my New Year Reading for 2021 which now seems so long ago. The reading, not 2021. My card for November was the 8 of Swords Reversed. 

The 8 of Swords in the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith tarot deck shows a blindfolded woman bound from her upper arms to her hips/thighs with what appears to be cloth. She is surrounded by eight swords in a quasi-semicircle. She is attempting to move past the swords but is struggling to do so. If the entire suit of Swords represents the domain of our thoughts and other mental activities-thinking, reasoning, seeking clarity and understanding, learning, and communication-then the individual swords represent individual thoughts, beliefs or ideas.

So, what is keeping her in place?

Her own thoughts. She can’t move forward because she’s caught in her own thoughts. She’s either overthinking a situation and can’t see her way clearly out of it or she’s stuck thinking self-defeating thoughts; “I will never figure this out”, “I’ll never master this subject”, etc. Or something along those lines.

Grimalkin Tarot,
(c)2020, MJ Cullinane

In The Grimalkin Tarot, by MJ Cullinane, we see a cat staring at a waterfall attempting to get past it. Or at least thinking of a plan to get beyond it. But the young feline is probably thinking, “I'm a cat, I’m not supposed to like water.” However, there appears to be a concentrated look on the cat’s face as if it’s determined to make it across.

Yet, the card is reversed in my reading. If we look back at the RWS card, turning it upside down would suggest that the swords could fall out. After all, they’re only stuck in by the points. Reversed, this card suggests one would be freeing themselves from paralyzing thoughts; moving past these self-defeating beliefs.

Going into November, I did feel very stuck, unable to free myself from what felt like a mental prison. I am tired of hearing people claim personal or religious liberties regarding various mandates. What about the greater good for all? We are in the middle of a global pandemic. We’ve had health related issues before, though none that have hit the US with such a deadly impact.

Except for one.

HIV/AIDS

Having lived through and survived that one, I’m tired of people complaining about their liberties when no one seemed to be concerned over the liberties of the mostly gay men who were initially being affected by that pandemic.

I could go on, but this is about my month.

I have also been feeling the need for some direction in my life since retirement. I’ve tried finding a part-time job, but that never panned out. I’ve considered volunteering, but unsure of where to volunteer. A pet shelter would be nice, but I’d want to rescue a cat or two. Or several. And my budget is already stretched nearly to breaking with the recent remodel. Being somewhat empathic, plus with the pandemic hanging over our shoulders, I avoid crowds in droves. Or try to, at least. So, volunteering with a large group of people is not in my cards. 

I thought of joining a couple of Meet-Ups but I lose interest after a while when the discussion topics no longer appeal to me. Or the host decides to close the group.

So, I hope this helps explain why I felt stuck at the beginning of November.

Yet, something began to shift.

While the events around me haven’t changed, the pandemic is still around with a new variant even. I’ve decided to let those who truly need a job apply for those jobs that are available (plus there’s the whole avoiding crowds issue, as well). I’ve also decided that if any new Meet-Ups do sound intriguing, I’ll explore them and just let what happens, happen. I’ll keep my eyes open for any volunteer options that won’t tug at my heart strings or budget and that may involve only a small group of people.

Yet, I know of at least a couple of swords I'll still need to work around.

The first one represents my opinion of those who don't take this pandemic seriously and see the mandates as an infringement on their rights to liberty and personal choice. But, what about my right not to be sickened by someone else? Do I not matter? What about the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?" I guess that only applies when convenient.

Another sword I'll need to work through is the one about the current state of the US; the polarization over the politics, the racism, the rights of the marginalized, and women's rights to choose appropriate health care.

Being somewhat empathic, these two swords have left me with an overwhelming sense of negative energy which is weighing heavy on me and keeping me behind the waterfall. And therefore, not trusting others enough to socialize more.

So, it seems that some of the swords did appear to shift, letting me get past the waterfall. I'll have to really work on those other two.

Or, at least take steps towards them.

I wonder what the Three of Wands brings me in December. Though, in my reading it, too, was reversed.

Hmmm...

Grimalkin Tarot,
(c)2020, MJ Cullinane

For more information on MJ and all of her decks, please click here.

The Grimalkin

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

Well, October has given way to November and it's time to check in with my New Year's Reading and this post will be somewhat different than the rest.

One reason for the difference is the card itself.

For 2021, I used The Grimalkin Tarot by MJ Cullinane. And the card I pulled was the Grimalkin.

Now, this is not a card found in the traditional Rider Waite Smith deck. Ms. Cullinane felt inspired to create two additional cards for this deck and the Grimalkin is one of them.

But first, what exactly is a Grimalkin?

The Grimalkin, The Grimalkin Tarot
(C)2020, MJ Cullinane

According to Wikipedia, a grimalkin (also called a greymalkin) is an archaic term for a cat. It stems from "grey" (the color) plus "malkin", an archaic term with several meanings; a low class woman, a weakling, a mop, or a name deriving from a form of a pet name of the female name Maud. Scottish legend also references the grimalkin as a fairy cat that dwells in the highlands. Women tried as witches in the 16th, 17th and 18th centuries were often accused of having a familiar, frequently a grimalkin, thus associating cats with the devil and witchcraft.

Ms. Cullinane describes the energy of this card as that of healing, since many of the women who were tried as witches were actually midwives and well practiced in the herbal healing arts. She suggests that when the Grimalkin appears in a reading, it’s suggesting a need of healing, taking the time to go inward and learn to trust oneself, one’s intuition, as suggested by the bat, and one’s spirit. The snow in the card suggests finding a peaceful time to aid in some much needed introspection. The owl suggests magic and renewal while the fox suggests solitude to focus on problem solving.

I did find October to be a difficult month. And, yes, I probably should have called on the Grimalkin more frequently, spending more time nurturing myself and trusting my inner voice.

I had finished the remodel which then freed up my mind to continue its wandering as I had nothing more to occupy my attention and a great deal of my time. I was still haunted by the ghosts of past conversations from months ago I feel I should have had even if I knew at that time they'd wouldn't change a thing. I fell into a spiral of downward thinking, not knowing who or what to believe or even what I wanted any longer.

I also began to lack basic motivation, yet finished all my projects I had, even those not associated with the remodel. I stuck to my morning routine and walking regimen but felt myself falling off my pace but still kept pushing myself to achieve the goals I'd set.

In addition to the downward spiral of thought, it seems I also fell into a rut doing the same things every day.

Well, October is finally over and they say the only way from here is up.

November brings the 8 of Swords, but reversed. Hmmmmm

The 8 of Swords, The Grimalkin Tarot
(C)2020, MJ Cullinane

For more information on MJ Cullinane and her various decks, please click here.

Pages, Swords and Pointed Lessons

It’s that time again; a new month and time to check in with my reading for this year. The Page of Swords was my card for August. 

As I’ve mentioned a few times, Swords is the suit that represents our mind and whatever goes on up there; logic, thought, understanding, truths, communication, etc.

Rider Waite Smith Tarot
Public Domain

The Pages are part of a subset of Tarot cards collectively referred to as the Court Cards. Within the Court, we have four ranks; Pages, Knights, Queens and Kings. Each rank represents an age range and with age comes life experience which in turn brings more mature wisdom. Therefore, Pages are the least wise while the Kings and Queens are the most wise. 

The Page of Swords is learning to identify their truths, how to reason, to determine fact from fiction and also how to express their ideas and perhaps even when to hold back from expressing them. Being young, the Page is still eager to learn and therefore can likely make some mistakes along the way. If the entire suit represents the mind and all the activity that goes on in our heads, then the sword itself represents the individual thought. In the Rider Waite Smith Tarot, we see the young Page posing as if ready to swing his sword. So, this would suggest the Page is ready to cut through to the heart of the matter or say what is on their mind.

In the Grimalkin Tarot, by MJ Cullinane, which I used for this year's reading, we see a kitten discovering the power of its voice. It's calling out for someone to listen, to pay attention to it. The swallows represent making swift decisions, the dove represents a pure heart and integrity. So, the Page of Swords is learning to speak with a pure heart and integrity.

Grimalkin Tarot
(C) 2020 MJ Cullinane

I truly felt the energy of the Page this month.

I don’t believe we are post-pandemic nor even close, but with things beginning to open up, I stepped way out of my pandemic-induced comfort zone this past month. I mean I stepped waaaaaaaaaaay out of my comfort zone. I stepped so far out of it, I ended up 1,960 miles away.

I visited my mother. In Georgia. Rural Georgia.

Now, I must say, my mother and I are close. Even if our politics are different. She was the only member of my family who initially stood by me when I came out to them. She has been supportive of me and my partners. She cried when my first partner died saying she felt like she’d lost a son-in-law. She was a long distance shoulder to cry on when my second partner divorced me. So, just visiting her doesn’t trigger any anxiety. Or, it hadn’t in the past. 

This is where stress and anxiety have begun to creep into my visits. It’s about how we express our differences. She has always suggested we should not mention or discuss them so as not to start an argument.

Easier said than done.

It had been two years since my last visit, mostly due to the pandemic and travel restrictions; plus, my own travel anxiety. I am somewhat empathic and avoid crowds. It’s hard to avoid crowds in an airport let alone in an airplane. The more I open up to my spiritual Self, the more anxious I tend to get around crowds. Unfortunately, the airlines frown against burning sage on the plane itself. So, I do a few ritual exercises before I know that I have to face a crowd and I carry both an amethyst and either obsidian or onyx crystal with me which help, if only for something tactile to hold. Shielding myself with golden light to keep the bad vibes away also helps.

They say that to see how spiritually progressed you are, spend time with your blood family. Then you can see how far along your journey you have come. Or how much further you have to go. 

The last couple of visits, she’s been expressing her views more frequently; on climate change, on the presidents-mostly the Democratic ones, on the Democratic Party, on Charter Schools, the Tarot cards. To be fair, she does admit that she's been disappointed in the Republican Party for some time and has left it, but she still holds conservative views. 

This trip I vowed not to react. Even internally. At her age, will she change? Will she even listen to me if only to attempt to understand my point of view and not what she thinks my point of view is? In the past, I’d react and we’d end up shouting at each other and my blood pressure would rise. I mean it’s already higher when I’m there since I'm not in the secure comfort of my home and sanctuary. So, why should I aggravate it any further?

The view from my mother's balcony

On my path, I’ve come to accept that we all have our own views depending on where we come from. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa. I accept you where you are. Therefore, I accept her where she is.

On my first full day there, it started and I’m not sure what started it. She likes to crochet and buys her supplies at Michaels, JoAnn’s or Hobby Lobby wherever she can find the yarn on sale. She began at some point about how she knew how I felt about Hobby Lobby and Chick-Fil-A but by boycotting them we are hurting the franchise owner and not necessarily the company which she then took this argument back to the 2010 BP boycott over the huge pipeline break and subsequent massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico and how the small stations were driven out of business due to the boycott. She also threw in the transgender bathroom issue at Target stores but still shops there. Then, she finished with “I know we’re going to disagree.”

“Yes, we’ll just have to disagree.”

That was my response. My only response. And that was the Page of Swords’ lesson: “Learn to speak your truths when and where possible, necessary and beneficial.” Would challenging her and trying to get her to see my point of view do any good? No. Again, we probably would have ended up in a shouting match and then angry and/or hurt. Would even expressing my point of view have done any good? Probably not.

Yet, now back home, I begin to wonder why I didn’t ask why she felt the need to even express her point of view knowing I had an opposing viewpoint? In my head, I see myself saying to her, “Is there a point to this discussion?” or "Why are you bringing this up?" Maybe she felt the need to justify why she shops at places she knows I disapprove of, perhaps seeking my approval of her. Yet, I still wonder if I had asked that question at least, what would have come of it? 

As August has moved on, it is apparent the Page has sheathed their sword. I wish I could, too.

On to September and the 9 of Pentacles Reversed. Uh oh.

The 9 of Pentacles,
The Grimalkin Tarot, (C) 2020
MJ Cullinane

For more information on MJ Cullinane, her Tarot and Oracle Decks, please click here.

The Emperor's New Role

This has been quite a busy, hectic and frustrating month and it’s just the 8th day as I write this. What more is to come? That may explain why I’m a bit late in getting to this post about my card for last month. 

Rider Waite Smith Tarot

My card for July was the Emperor Reversed. In thinking of the archetype of an emperor, he is responsible for the running of his empire. As an authority figure, he sets the law and order, sees to appropriate discipline, makes sure people are doing their jobs and delegates his authority where and when appropriate. In the traditional card we see him sitting on his throne, yet still dressed in armor apparently ready to do battle at any moment. The rams’ heads on his throne are connected to Aries, one of the fire signs of the zodiac. Aries is known for impulsive actions. The Emperor is also associated with the number four, a number denoting stability. Even though tripods are somewhat stable with their three legs, chairs are more stable with four.

In an upright position, he would bring any or all of those above energies to a reading suggesting it’s time to take action, get the ball rolling and generally take charge of the situation at hand. In other words, it's time to assume authority. Yet, in a reversed position, he would suggest the opposite might be what’s going on. There might be a lack of direction, a lack of responsibility or accountability in current situation. Or possibly, there could be a great sense of instability with the situation at hand. He could even suggest an energy of someone more dictatorial, abusive of their power.

In the Grimalkin Tarot, by MJ Cullinane, we see a fiery orange cat with a white "beard" staring right at us, almost with a look of “Why aren’t you doing what needs to be done?” Cats can be so demanding and before any haters hate on me, I am definitely a cat person. I think this cat’s determined look adds a bit to this particular Emperor’s energy in calling me out for not getting things done. We also see two rams in this card again reminding us of the connection to Aries’ energy of rushing in perhaps a bit too soon to fully see what the situation fully entailed.

The Grimalkin Tarot,
(c) 2020, MJ Cullinane

Yet, as I look back at July, there was nothing I could do with the situation that predominated the month. I had paid for laminate flooring to be installed in my house. That was back in May when I was tapping into the energy of the 7 of Cups, confronted with many choices or options. There are plethoras of choices when it comes to flooring and other home remodeling options. The materials took almost a month to arrive and then another week just to schedule an installation date and this took place in June under the influence of the King of Wands’ energy which also likes to get things done. He’s more Leo than Aries making him a bit more calculated than impulsive but still a take charge kind of guy. But, the first available installation date was towards the end of July. In the meantime, everything had to be inside my home and not in the garage in order to acclimate to the temperature of my house. As I was placed on a waitlist, I moved it all inside immediately. For nearly a month, I lived with everything from the upstairs rooms in boxes plus four bedrooms, two bathrooms, two closets, one hallway and a stairway’s worth of flooring materials in my living room.

Crikey!

And yet, there was nothing I could do to hurry up time. Yes, there was disorder in my house and life and with this back-to-back fire energies from the King of Wands to the Emperor Reversed, it's no wonder I was losing patience. But, my hands were tied, so to speak. Perhaps the Emperor Reversed was signaling a desire to take charge and get things done, but accepting that I could not. Not a typical meaning for the Emperor Reversed.

My Bedroom

The appointed day arrived and the crew showed up exactly on time. I was anticipating a five day job given all the rooms and a staircase. Yet, this crew of two men and an occasional third finished in three even putting in a twelve hour day on the final one! I was ecstatic. I am very pleased with the results and have finally put things back in their places and made a few small changes as well.

My Office

Now on to the rest of August and a frisky, all-knowing Page of Swords.

The Grimalkin Tarot,
(c) 2020, MJ Cullinane

May the gods help me. Especially, next week.

For information on MJ Cullinane and her tarot decks, click here.

The King and I in June

We’re halfway into July and I haven’t posted about my New Year Reading and the card for June. This procrastination has been hanging around for quite a while. June’s card was the King of Wands and when I drew it, I was intrigued as to what the cards were suggesting, because the Queen of Wands would be my card in April. If I remember correctly, I didn’t quite live up to her energy then. I don’t feel I stepped into the King’s shoes this month either.

Rider Waite Smith Tarot

Wands is the suit of fire, meaning quick and decisive action. It is that fire inside us that pushes our ambition, drive, motivation and passion. In the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot, the King is seated on his throne staring off to the left, perhaps a bit upset, concentrating on something that seems to have caught his attention. He appears to be leaning slightly forward and is left hand is pulled back, as if readying to help him stand and spring into action. We see evidence of fire energy all throughout this card from the color of his hair and robe to the flame-like points on his crown. There are salamanders on his cloak and on the tapestry behind him and one on the ground near his feet. Salamanders have long been associated with fire energy as quite a few species are bright orange in color. Also, there are two lions on the tapestry representing Leo, one of the astrological signs associated also with fire energy.

The King is quite motivated and goal oriented. He is active and is driven to succeed. He thinks on his feet using his life experiences to make his spontaneous decisions. Nothing stops him from succeeding at his goal. He is a creative thinker. He is also quite charismatic and uses his charm to get those around him to help him succeed. Yet, he doesn’t do this in an egotistical way but he sees his success as the success of his team. 

The Queen is also very goal oriented and conveys the energy of a woman who is working in a male-dominated goal-oriented atmosphere. She feels that simply because of her gender, she has to work twice as hard as the King does in order to prove herself and to be taken seriously so, she is more driven to succeed than the King.

Another big difference between the King and Queen also has to do with their respective genders. This may come off as sexist, but it describes the different energies as it relates to masculine and feminine energies. The King, representing masculine energy, is more in his head and sees his opportunities analytically. He reacts to changes rationally where the Queen, being of feminine energy, is more emotional, or intuitive. She reacts from her heart or intuition.

The Grimalkin Tarot, (c) 2020, MJ Cullinane

In the Grimalkin Tarot, by MJ Cullinane, we see an orange tabby sitting on a throne with what appears to be a lion’s head in the armrest. There is also a salamander by the cat, climbing onto the throne. The cat is reaching for a wand with a bird perched on it, seeming to take action to catch the bird. This is a cat wanting to spring into action. The sun in the upper corner is the ruling astrological element for Leo as well as a source of fire.

I’m in the middle of a home remodeling project that seems to be taking its sweet time, like molasses trying to flow downhill in January in the Arctic. Maybe having my house in disarray since mid-May has been the reason for my procrastination or even a mild depression, let alone full-blown frustration. While I do have a date for the project to begin, it has taken a while to get that date. There was a delay in shipping for one of the components. Once that component arrived, I had to wait for someone to schedule the delivery date. Then, when it was all finally delivered, I waited and waited for the installers to call. Ultimately, I went to the store where I had purchased the materials, spoke with the woman who scheduled the delivery with me who then called the installers with me in the store. A day later, I had a date which was a month away. So, the materials have been sitting in my living room since then as they have to acclimate to the temperature of the house.

In the meantime, I was purchasing the materials and doing some of the prep work for the third project because my goal is to get these projects done as I want my house back to normal.

Maybe in retrospect, I did slip the King's shoes on for a bit if even to try to take charge of the situation and get this project going. But, even the King of Wands has to realize and adjust to those elements even he can’t control like shipping delays or installers with full calendars.  

August should be interesting; I drew the Emperor Reversed. My first reversed card of this year.

The Grimalkin Tarot, (c) 2020, MJ Cullinane

To find out more about MJ Cullinane and her decks, click here

The Queen of April

The Queen of Wands was the Card for April in my New Year reading and it's time to see how she influenced me.

Or, how I used her.

Wands is the suit of our ambition, drive, passion and creativity. It’s connected to fire energy which gives us the steam to push ahead with our goals, our dreams, our ambitions.

Rider Waite Smith Tarot

In the traditional card, we see a red headed woman seated on a throne. Yet, she is not seated in a manner befitting a queen, with her knees and ankles together. Her pose suggests she is ready to jump into action to pursue her ambitions. She is dressed in a yellow tunic, holding a sunflower in her left hand and a wand in her right. Three sunflowers also adorn the tapestry behind her throne. There are two orange lions rampant between the sunflowers. Yellow and orange are the colors of the sun and fire suggesting the heat and passion of the suit as well as fire energy.

In the Grimalkin deck, by MJ Cullinane, we see a beautiful orange colored cat standing on a throne, gazing fixedly off into the distance as is the queen in the traditional card. She obviously spies something. We also see a bright sun and a few sunflowers as well as a couple of flames reminding us of the energies of the suit. 

The Grimalkin Tarot,
(C) 2020, MJ Cullinane

With all this passion and fire energy, the Queen of Wands is one passionate woman. She is a woman driven to succeed. Nothing, or no one, stands in her way when she sets her mind to achieve something. She is adventurous, bold and daring. 

This past month was a most lackluster month. The lethargy that overcame me was so heavy, it was all I could do to take my walks in the mornings. I think I’d fallen into a pandemic depression. I kept waiting for the Queen of Wands to show up, for some creative spark, some passion to drive me forward. But, I could not find her. I did decide to get my first vaccination and took the closest appointment location near me, but I don’t think it was the Queen’s energy that pushed me into making the decision.

But, I did finally decide to do something I’d been contemplating for years; begin some major home projects. So, I strolled, masked and sanitized, into Home Depot to begin the process of new flooring for my upstairs rooms and some new countertops in the kitchen and three bathrooms. The carpeting was still the original from when I bought the house in 2003 and had seen some much better days. I wasn’t ready to tackle a complete kitchen remodel but was definitely in need of some new countertops which were also the original white tile but now with some cracks and broken tiles in the kitchen. The appliances were in decent shape and I believe if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it. Unless, it’s time to sell the house.

The salespersons in each department were very helpful, patient with all my questions and quite knowledgeable of their products and procedures. I was going to start with the flooring and then move to the countertops after. I set up the appointment for the flooring measurements and was given a worksheet to sketch my counters and get my preliminary measurements for the estimate. Upon returning to the store with the countertop measurements, one of the granite patterns I wanted was on sale, but only for the next week. Needless to say, I decided to reverse my plan and the flooring would wait.

The process was seamless and went without a hitch. Someone came out to take the official measurements and sketch the plan. He suggested that I should have new sinks on hand in case the existing ones were damaged upon removal. So, I traipsed back to Home Depot and selected five sinks. I found my way to the stone works store to select the actual slabs that would become my new countertops. Now to wait for the installation.

The receptionist in the main office of the installers tried to tell me it would be a one day job, but I didn’t believe her. I mean, one kitchen, and three bathrooms in one day? Puhleeease. I knew it would be two and then one more day for the plumbers to show up and reconnect my new sinks. The crews, both the installers and plumbers, were dedicated workers and did excellent work. The old countertops were demolished and the new ones were installed in two days and the plumbers showed up the next day and connected all five sinks within about three hours.

With the flooring, which is almost ready to go, I ran into some more challenges. I now know what a stair nose is. I had planned to put laminate in the upstairs rooms (4 bedrooms and their closets, two bathrooms, and a linen closet) but to carpet the stairs to eliminate possible slippage. Well, as I was putting laminate on the top landing, it needed a stair nose to finish the connection between the riser and the landing. It seemed every color of laminate I was considering did not have the matching stair nose. I’d take a few samples home, find one I liked, go back to the store and have the salesperson make the adjustment in the preliminary quote. We’d make the call to pay for it, only to discover, it had no matching stair nose. The salesperson suggested I could buy a very plain stair nose and try to find a matching, or comparable, stain. Somehow, that sounded easier than I felt it would be. After my third or fourth try and by now I even knew how to search for stair noses, I thought I’d found the one only to find out that by the time I went in to make the purchase, there were no more matching stair noses. But, I took it all in stride. What more could I do? 

A Stair Nose

I then figured it out, I was going about this the wrong way. I looked for available stair noses, then would go back to the store and get the samples that appealed to me. Lo and behold, the eighth time was the charm. As of this writing, the materials are being ordered, I’m packing everything in my upstairs (alone, because of COVID restrictions and all my friends are back at work anyway) and am aiming for an end of May deadline which is not fixed in granite. 

I guess the Queen’s energy was what I needed to light my fire to get these projects going, to kick my ambition into gear. I’m ecstatic with how the counters turned out. I still have some work to do in the bathrooms; prep the walls for painting, deciding on the colors, shopping for new mirrors and then hanging them. Maybe the Queen's energy was there all along waiting for me to seize it. Carpe Regina!

I learned a lot about myself in this process. I can only control my reaction to situations that don’t go according to plan. And quite a lot didn’t go to plan. I had wanted a different color of granite than what I ended up with, but it was no longer available and hadn’t been for quite some time. I am quite happy with what I did end up with. I learned not to take the receptionist’s word for how long a job will take. I’ll see how this holds up once the flooring begins. I also learned that sometimes what we think we want might not be the best in the long run. I also learned to be more like water and less like rock. It’s best to go with the flow in the beginning because the water will eventually erode the rock away. Besides, going with the flow is better on the blood pressure.

On to May and the Seven of Cups. It already seems appropriate.

Radiant Rider Waite Smith Tarot

For more info on MJ Cullinane and her decks, please click here

The Ace of March

It’s time to check in with my New Year Reading for March albeit a bit late. I drew the Ace of Swords for March.

Ugh. But, also not so ugh.

As I’ve mentioned at least once or twice before, Swords is the suit of the mind and covers thoughts, logic, reasoning, intellect, truth and communication. All that mental stuff. Swords are a bit pointy and sharp which therefore can, and often do, inflict pain. Mental pain. But, no pain, no gain. In this case, no mental pain, no mental gain.

Radiant Rider Waite Smith Tarot

This is why Swords is not the most welcome suit to appear in a reading. Especially, when they appear en masse.

Aces are the beginning of the story of their suit. They are like seed being planted, an opportunity for growth in the realm of their suit. So, the Ace of Swords would be an opportunity for mental expansion; i.e., more learning, better communication, for finding out the truth or gaining some clarity, or it could be an opportunity to cut through the crap and see things for what (or who) they truly are. This could refer to an external situation or an internal one. 

Yet, the Ace is only the opportunity; the energy is there. We see that in the traditional card with the Sword being offered by a giant hand emanating from a cloud. The cloud symbolizes that which we cannot see. I view the cloud as Life, the Universe, Spirit, or even God. One only has to seize the opportunity being offered. When a server offers appetizers at a banquet, it’s up to us to decide if we want that particular item or would rather wait for some other perhaps tastier hor d'oeuvre. Yet, sometimes opportunities pass us by. And we may miss out on that last appetizer we spotted earlier because we thought there'd be some left when we were ready. But, alas, we missed out.

The Grimalkin Tarot,
(c) 2020, MJ Cullinane

Therefore, carpe opportunitatem. And I carpe'd as best I could.

In the Ace of Swords from the Grimalkin Tarot by MJ Cullinane, which I used for this year’s reading, we see a cat poised on the hilt of a sword. This cat is clearly focused, ready to pounce on the birds above securing its destiny as a predator, a skilled hunter. Seeing itself for who it is.

While I don’t see myself as a skilled hunter, let alone an unskilled one, I did seize my opportunity to cut through some crap and focus on some inner truths. I also took a risk, stood up and spoke my truths in a couple of places. Yes, it did cause some mental pain to do so. But, it did eventually clear the air. Or some of the mental clutter, at least. Even though I feel I could have seized a bit more of the Ace's energy, I do feel what I did seize gave me some more focus on my life. 

Still, every little bit helps.

Baby steps.

Now to keep the momentum going, remain focused and move on into the rest of April and greet the lovely Queen of Wands.

The Grimalkin Tarot,
(c) 2020, MJ Cullinane

For information on MJ Cullinane, her tarot and oracle decks, click here.

Temperance in January

January was named after Janus, the Roman god of beginnings and endings. As such, he is depicted with two faces; one facing backward, the other forward. Perhaps this is why we often reflect back at the year ending as we also look forward in anticipation of the new year just beginning. What changes can we make to improve ourselves in the new year?

When I pulled the cards for my New Year Reading, I wasn’t surprised to see Temperance show up. To start off the New Year with a major card suggests it’s going to be a strong opening month.

Temperance,
Radiant RWS Tarot

In the traditional Rider Waite Smith card we see an angel standing with one foot on land and one foot in water while pouring water from one chalice into another. The positions of the feet suggest an attempt to remain grounded while in touch with emotions, symbolized by the water. I can also picture the angel pouring the water back and forth between the two chalices; from one into the other and back again, almost like a mixologist would do to find the perfect balance of ingredients for a cocktail. We also see a road leading from the water to a crown symbolizing our ego in the distance, suggesting that as we travel this path of balancing our emotions and groundedness, it will lead us to a greater sense of self.

And that is the message of Temperance-balance yourself between two extremes; emotions and groundedness, strengthen yourself but don’t be either a bully or a pushover, find the middle of the road of the extremes.

I used another artist/tarot reader’s deck this year for my reading, The Grimalkin Tarot, by MJ Cullinane. She themed this deck around cats. (For more information on MJ and her decks, click the link below.)

In her interpretation of Temperance, we see a cat walking a narrow ledge across a stream of water. One side of the stream is calm and then flows over the ledge down into some turbulent waters below, while some fish are leaping over the ledge into the calmer waters, all in front of the cat. Yet, the cat remains focused on crossing to the other side, not letting the fish distract it. Understanding that chaos and darkness are as much a part of life as calmness and light is key to finding balance. Finding and maintaining that balance will lead us to a path towards a solution. Yet, we can only find that path in moments of calm inspiration.

The Grimalkin Tarot
(c) 2020, MJ Cullinane

I found this card to fit January for a number of reasons.

Here in the US we are transitioning into a new Administration from the turbulent waters of the prior one into seemingly calmer waters of the new one. It still is early in this Administration and we are headed into uncharted waters with our first biracial, female Vice-President. I am sure there are some citizens of this country who might like to leap into these uncharted waters and stir things up to test her. As a country, we must remain focused on the goal of remaining united, however difficult that might be at this time and not let those leaping fish disturb these new waters.

Yet, this was my reading, not hers. Or the country’s.

I found myself very frustrated and anxious earlier this month. Yet, I tried to remain calm, grounded and balanced. I kept focusing on what I could do to remain in the present moment and not get caught up in what was going on around me where I had no control.

I had to keep my eyes on that goal. I had to get to the other side. In this case, it was past Inauguration Day. I needed to see that transfer of power and needed to see it happen peacefully.

I also had to maintain balance surrounding this pandemic and those who choose to still ignore what health officials continually remind us of:

• Wear a mask, and wear it correctly-over your nose and mouth;

• Practice social distancing-six feet (2 Meters) apart;

• Stop getting together with people outside your household;

• Stay home as much as possible-except for essential business.

With four newer, mutant, potentially more contagious strains of this virus running around (one was found each in Britain, South Africa, Brazil and California-though the latter is not as widespread-yet), I feel we are not out of the woods, nor will be for quite some time, as this is where we are with the common flu virus-new strains are constantly mutating to avoid vaccines. 

Yet, I can only manage myself. I am prepared to wear a mask the rest of my life, if needed. With all these new variants appearing, I just may have to.

Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash

I also found myself drowning in my own thoughts. Particularly over prickly conversations I anticipate having at some point in the future. When, exactly? I don’t know. Would I even have them? Would I need to? Yet, there they were formulating in my head, just in case I needed to have them. They were also formulating in various formats so I could be prepared for any scenario that might occur.

In my training to be a teacher, we were trained, drilled and reminded ad nauseum to anticipate all the questions our students might ask as we prepared lesson plans. Yet, invariably a student would ask a question I hadn’t anticipated. (And I don’t mean “Can I use the restroom?” Or other such questions. I always anticipated those.) So, this may be where my anticipating these conversations comes from.

These pre-conversations were galavanting around in my head, especially when I found myself in down time or in those pesky moments when I am trying to get to sleep or those hazy moments of not being fully awake in the morning; those semi-hypnotic moments were we drift in and out of a dream-state. During these times, I would focus more on my body and its contact with the bedclothes. Could I feel the sheet against my foot or my arm? Could I feel the weight of my hand as it lies upon my chest? What about the weight of the blanket, sheet and bedspread combined? But, maintaining this focus isn’t very easy when you continually awaken between 2:00 and 4:00 AM, daily.

Urban Crow Oracle
(c) 2020 MJ Cullinane

In her Urban Crow Oracle deck, MJ Cullinane refers to these types of conversations as ‘ghosts’, as these are conversations we wanted to have or feel we should have had in the past yet still haunt us. But, how can a conversation we feel we need to have in the future be a ghost? Maybe they’re just a premonition, or a pesky poltergeist? 

I think here is also where I need to invoke Temperance. I need to be aware that I may have to have these poltergeister-ish conversations, yet remain unsure of how they’ll go. There will be unexpected turns, comments I hadn’t anticipated and I’ll just have to deal with them at that time. Just like in teaching.

I’ll have to be okay with that.

And keep my eyes focused on the goal.

Maintaining balance.

Photo by Photoholgic on Unsplash

For information on MJ Cullinane, her decks and her art, please click here