The Doldrums

A few years ago while teaching, I became enchanted with the book, The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. It’s a wonderful story about a young boy named Milo and is filled with wonderful examples of figurative language.

The story opens and Milo is bored and believes his life has no direction because he has nothing to do. Wherever he is, he wishes he were somewhere else and when he’s somewhere else, he wishes he was back where he was. A mysterious box appears in his room containing an unassembled tollbooth, some coins and a map. He assembles the tollbooth, checks the map and gets in a small electric car he owns but hasn’t driven in months-or maybe years, he can't remember-and approaches the toll booth. He uses the coins to pay the toll and sets off on an adventure of a lifetime through the Lands Beyond.

One of the first places Milo experiences in the Lands Beyond is the Doldrums, described as mile after mile after mile after mile of the same dull, drab, gray landscape. His car eventually goes slower and slower and slower and Milo finds himself feeling drowsier and drowsier and very dull. Wondering aloud, he asks himself where he is. A voice from very far away tells him he is in The Doldrums, the land where nothing ever happens and nothing ever changes and, in fact, laughing and thinking are against the law there.

Later, I was surprised to actually find the Doldrums on a world map making it a real place. Kind of. Further investigation led me to discover it is also known as The Intertropical Convergence Zone. It lies along the equator where the northeast and southeast Tradewinds converge. Due to the weather patterns along the equator, the Tradewinds converge here and then rise straight up, leaving almost no surface winds which, in turn, leaves boats without any wind to help them along. Therefore, they simply drift along, directionless. Nowadays, many boats and ships have motors to help them in windless times and, evidently, in windless locations.

Lately, I’ve felt I’ve been in the Doldrums, metaphorically, that is. Drifting along directionless. I’ve been trying to motivate myself to do more and to get out more. To that end, I applied for a seasonal job, but for some reason unbeknownst to me, I am no longer being considered for it. Yet, that chain is still hiring. I’ll apply for another job elsewhere and see what happens. My concern, though, with working while being an introvert and an empath is that it can be exhausting working around people. Maybe a people-free job exists somewhere? But, to be honest, some human interaction is actually healthy.

The majority of my friends have jobs so, during the day, they are occupied. If I go out for a walk, I’m walking alone which still gives me the freedom to overthink. I do try some walking meditations where I focus on the landscape around me or try and identify the various sounds I hear, especially if I’m walking along a nature trail. I sometimes walk the local mall, leaving my credit cards at home or the tendency to shop can be a bit tempting. If I want to socialize at night or on weekends, my friends often have family obligations. Or they live far away.

Something else I’ve tried in order to cure the Doldrums is looking for groups to socialize with but the dues to attend their functions or the cost of their events adds up and for someone on a fixed income, that can be an issue. A few of them seemed interesting at first, but didn't live up to their hype or had agendas other than what I was looking for.

Plus, there’s the introvert/empath thing again. 

I’ve tried working on my writing projects but after a while, the arthritis in my hands and tendinitis in my wrists and elbows alert me to when I’ve done enough typing for a while. But, I still do need to get those works finished.

So, I stay home a lot, but I can only dust the rooms, sweep the floors, sort out closets or clean bathrooms so often. I do some reading, mostly books on overcoming anxiety or enhancing my tarot studies and other related fields. 

I've considered volunteering at a local animal shelter, but I’d want to bring home a cat or two, yet my budget simply can’t handle the food, litter, vaccinations, check-ups, toys and other feline necessities. Plus, my plants wouldn't necessarily like possibly being chewed on. 

I do have a project in the works, but I’m not ready to come out with it, just yet. Some logistics still need to be worked out. Plus, it's not quite a socializing event. 

In short, I just need to set a course for somewhere and see what happens. After all, ships never get anywhere staying close to the shore.

Besides, I can always change course if the first one doesn’t work out.

Again.