Eight Reversed Swords in June

New Palladini Tarot

It's a new month and time to check in with my New Year Reading. The card for June was the lovely Eight of Swords Reversed.

I’ve written about this card before as she popped up last year but let’s have a refresher. Swords is the suit of the mind and encompasses thought, logic, reasoning, learning-anything that goes on in our heads. She’s bound and blindfolded, still trying to move forward but unable to see the swords in the ground around her. If the suit itself represents the mind and all that goes on up there, the individual swords represent the thoughts themselves. She has seemingly trapped herself by her own thoughts. A bit of overthinking, perhaps?

A reversed card can suggest the opposite of the card’s upright meaning. So, I was thinking I’d be releasing myself from the thoughts I was using to imprison myself over the last few months. It seems that was in the cards, so to speak. (Is that where this phrase comes from: the Tarot?)

Another reader I was studying a year ago suggested this idea for a single reversed card. She interprets it as an internal energy rather than external meaning it’s directed more inward than outward into the larger world. In a multiple card reading, the cards would play off each other, influencing the interpretation of the other cards and the position in the spread would also tweak each card's meaning. So, in a way this Eight of Swords could be seen as a single card as it represents one month even if it’s within a larger collective reading for a year with the energies of the cards flowing from one month into the next. Therefore, I could interpret this as a further/deeper entrapment within my own thoughts. That’s one possibility.

Radiant Rider Waite Smith Tarot

Another possibility is that the energy or lesson was there for me to learn how to release myself from my self-imprisonment. But, just because the lesson is there for me to learn, doesn’t mean I will learn it. In other words, I’ll have to face it again one of these days. This reminds me of my teaching days, how many times did I have to review a lesson because the little darlings didn’t get it the first, second or even fifteenth time I went over it? Life can also be like that.

Let’s just say, both of these interpretations could work. Yes, I do feel I am further imprisoned by thoughts and didn’t learn to release myself from this prison. Every method I’ve learned to try and refocus my mind into something more positive didn’t seem to stick.

But, I do need to be fair to myself. I didn’t expect the Covid situation to get so much worse making the month so much more challenging. I did anticipate a resurgence of cases when the states began to reopen which was way too soon in my opinion. But, the extreme of the second wave, if it was indeed a second one rather than an extension of the first one, was overwhelming to me. 

Plus, the attitude of those who still seem to think this is not to be taken seriously disturbs me greatly. I’m getting ahead of myself and another post I have in mind. 

The politics, too, around this situation have weighed heavily on me as well. How bloody difficult is it to put on a simple mask? Did people erupt in violence over “No shirt, no shoes, no service?” Was there such vicious backlash when seat belts became mandatory? Or for driving while on the cell phone/texting? How many people were killed over those policies? Again, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Even with the heavier thoughts, I do think I was meant to learn to overcome these thoughts of despair, depression and disdain for those who don’t seem to care about the seriousness of this virus and its effect on others. Or, at least try to overcome those thoughts. Sometimes, we need to learn a lesson at a higher or deeper level to advance on our journey. I feel I did try, but maybe not hard enough.

I understand that getting past these thoughts is necessary for a peaceful life and better health as anxiety and stress aren’t good on the body. Or spirit.

The overall theme of the year, the lucky thirteenth card, is the High Priestess. I really need to go further inward, into the temple and find my inner truth because I have a bit more work to do as another Swords card is next...

Radiant Rider Waite Smith Tarot

October

The original card from
the Rider Waite Smith deck

Since we have moved into November, it’s time to check in with my October card from my New Year's Reading and we find ourselves with the Four of Pentacles, Reversed.

As I mentioned earlier in April with the Ten of Pentacles, this is the suit associated with prosperity, abundance and material goods. As we need to work to attain prosperity, it can also relate to labor, jobs, investments, etc. As we examine the figure in the traditional card, we can see he is hanging on to his Pentacles by grasping one to his chest and standing on two of them. As four is near the beginning of the suit, this is suggesting the figure is early in his understanding of the suit. He’s made some money, or acquired some possessions and is fearful of losing them. Therefore, he’s clinging to them, or trying to control what he has. So, in an upright position, this is a card about controlling and maintaining what we have in terms of our material situation.

The Four of Pentacles,
New Palladini

In my reading, I used the New Palladini deck and this card came up reversed. Reversals can indicate a delay, an obstacle, a blockage or simply the opposite meaning. Are there things I’m hanging on to that no longer serve me? While Pentacles is mostly about material goods and possessions, this card, reversed, could also suggest a letting go of control in general. In some instances, a reversal may also suggest the upright energy of the card but to its most extreme. In this case, it might suggest the figure is taking the fear of losing his possessions to the extreme of hoarding, stinginess or outright possessiveness. 

I can always find things I’m no longer using and donate them to a charity or simply toss out. In fact, I try to make it a habit to find a minimum of fifty things throughout each year to toss. This can include outdated medications, CDs I no longer listen to, DVDs that have lost my interest, clothes that no longer fit or are too worn, etc. Or it could even be something I haven’t set eyes on in the last 6 months.

Pentacles is the suit also connected to the Earth element. Have I been outdoors in Nature much? Not really. Do I feel grounded or connected to the Earth? Again, not really.

There were some things that came up in this past month that caused me to take a look at myself.

I posted about them in a fairly recent blog, Humbled, where I learned that if you let go of an expected, or highly anticipated outcome, you will never be disappointed.

I take it that was the message of the card. Letting go of expectations, relinquishing control, or not blocking the changes meant for my higher good.

But, I still feel the need to get out into Nature more and ground myself. 

The Five of Wands

I find myself living the 5 of Wands at the moment. While I am still living the Chariot moment I’ve described before, and I’m rebuilding from the crashing Tower moments, I am now embroiled in a 5 of Wands dilemma.

As we look at the card we see five young men all swinging large wooden staffs or clubs. This seems to be an unstructured battle, no direction from any leader. This has become a free-for-all. Five men all wildly swinging these large wands hitting each other. It’s no wonder this card has come to suggest chaos, confusion, struggle and/or conflict particularly over a course of action, as the suit of Wands represents our passions in life, our courses of action, our joie-de-vivre. 

I’ve recently had some homeowner issues. I found a trail of water coming from my water heater. So, after a quick but subdued panic, I searched for plumbers on Yelp, and requested a quote. Within 10 minutes I had a response to my request but the plumber would not quote me anything over the phone, or internet, until he could come out to see what he was getting into. I thought this was a wise move for both of us. Why would he want to lock himself into a project that might cost him more than he initially quoted based on a photo and therefore lose money, or have to readjust his quote, and charge me more than what we agreed on and possibly lose a repeat customer? Undoubtedly, I will have other plumbing needs in the future.

Due to how long the water heater had been leaking, it had evidently weakened the platform the water heater was on, and seeped into the wall of my house so that simply replacing the water heater would be problematic due to the weakened platform and would prevent me from addressing the possible mold issue in the wall surrounding the heater. To make this long story short, I am now the proud owner of a tankless water heating system.

Now, I just need to find some money to pay it off.

Here’s where the 5 of Wands comes in.

I retired earlier than I could have. Had I waited another four years, I’d be in a much better and more stable financial position, but I might be in a less stable emotional state of being. Hmmm, money or sanity? For me, the choice was easy. And I always was open to the idea of having to supplement my pension. But that was then, this is now.

I’ve been retired now just over a year and a half. I’ve taken some time to decompress and get used to the idea of being retired. But now, I need to augment my pension. But, I am an introvert and somewhat empathic and therefore I avoid crowds. I’ve also learned to treasure my independence and solitude. Oh, and my freedom to come and go as I wish. Or to stay home. Or to read. Or to write. Or to play games on my iPad all day. Or to sleep. I think you get the picture. And yes, I do need to get out to learn to manage my empathic introversion. Or is it introverted empathicness? Whatever…

Yes, I could use some extra cash. I could play the lottery. In fact, I do. But, nothing much has come from it. Last week, I won $10.00. Whoopee.

How do I maintain my sense of independence and freedom while working?

I think you see the 5 of Wands in my life now; the conflict and confusion over my situation. What do I do? What action do I take?

Do I search for a job where I don’t deal with many people? Is there such a job? Do I trust that I will be provided for and what does that mean exactly? Does that mean I will find the right job? Or other source of income? Or some giant cosmic ATM? Okay, that last one was a stretch.

I need to invoke the Hanged Man here. He is about surrendering and letting go. 

But, what do I let go? I just don’t want to end up being a martyr for my own cause.

Maybe I should let all of it go, and let it be.

And let the Star guide me...

My Favorite version of the Star
From the Aquarian Tarot, by David Palladini

The Temperant Hermit Priestess

As I’ve been exploring the Tarot, I’ve been discovering that certain cards appeal to me more than others.

Maybe appeal isn’t the right word, but speak to or resonate with me.

One of the first cards that resonated with me was the High Priestess. 

She guards a temple allowing in only the initiated. To enter, one must honor the duality of the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine, the darkness and the light, as suggested by the two contrasting pillars. She teaches us the mysteries of the Divine Feminine energy carried within us regardless of gender identification or sexual orientation. She directs us to go within to find our own truth and to connect to our subconscious mind which is symbolized by what lies beyond the veil behind her. 

When I first studied the keywords associated with her, they really hit home because I could see myself in the card as she embodies my journey to my higher consciousness. She still resonates strongly with me; I smile when she appears in a reading, whether for me or someone else. Often when I feel the need, or the inspiration, to buy another deck, I’ll check out the artwork on her card to see if that artist's rendition appeals to me and make my decision to buy the deck based on her. 

As well as on my intuition. And budget.

The High Priestess is about seeking that inner voice, and listening to our intuition to help us understand both ourselves better as well as the mysteries of life.

Another of my favorite cards is the Hermit.

He stands alone on a snow covered mountain top. He has chosen the path of self-discovery and has now reached his summit. His lantern holds a six-pointed star representing both the Seal of Solomon, a sign of wisdom, and the Merkaba, a spiritual symbol. His lantern lights only the next few feet in front of him as he cannot see the whole journey ahead, just the next few steps into the unknown. He takes those steps believing all will be revealed in Divine Time. The staff in his left hand, the side of the subconscious, helps him maintain balance as he walks his path.

He represents soul-searching, introspection, solitude and inner guidance. I like to view him as a student who has learned from the High Priestess and is near the peak of his journey. Therefore, I also see myself in him as I do spend a lot of time in introspective solitude. And like with the High Priestess, I smile when he appears. 

Another card that has recently begun reaching out to me is Temperance. 

On this card we see a winged angel of ambiguous gender. Being an angel, this figure represents our connection to the divine, to our higher power. The angel is standing between earth and water suggesting the importance of being grounded while going with the flow of life represented by the path in the background. The crown in the background suggests taking the higher path to remain true to one’s journey and calling especially when the going gets rough. The figure pours water back and forth between two goblets reminding us again of the ebb and flow which is the magic of life.

This is card about balance and moderation, as well as patience and purpose.

I view both the High Priestess and the Hermit as relating directly to my own path into my Self, into my higher consciousness, while Temperance is a lesson I need to meditate on, and even more so lately. I need to keep myself in balance and remain patient not only with myself but with others as well. And this will continue to lead me to my purpose in life. 

And not just for the purpose of this blog.

I am exploring a somewhat unconventional relationship. I think I've said that once before. We had a past and when we came to a parting of the ways, it was the most excruciating pain, emotional or physical, I’d ever experienced.

I had always maintained there was a spiritual purpose to this relationship and even when we separated, I knew deep down we were not finished. We still had more to discover; about each other, and more importantly, about ourselves via this relationship.

So, we would have our time. But when, I did not know.

We have now reconnected and things are moving smoothly, but slowly. And here’s where Temperance comes in. I’d like to move a little faster. But, I need to take his pace and concerns into account as well. Finding that balance where we are moving forward but not scaring each other off is difficult. I need to keep myself grounded while going with the flow.

Things between us have changed since the first phase of the relationship. In the two and a half years of separation we both have grown, we both have matured. Yet, I still get triggered by things that happen now as I compare them to how they happened in the past, even if they are different in the present. So, I still need to focus on the now, not the then. Temperance would remind me of my purpose: focus on the now and remain grounded. 

Friends have also expressed their concerns over this reconnection. Some have been happy for me, others suggesting caution. Some have even offered their own unsolicited opinions and advice. And here’s where I have to invoke Temperance. I’ve explained to my friends that I don’t appreciate opinions or advice unless I specifically ask. I do understand where they are coming from. But, unless they have walked each and every exact step in the exact same shoes I have, their comments are meaningless to me as they relate to the reality of their own situations with their own relationships and not to their perception of mine. We all bring our own experiences to the table and no two tables are set the same. And unless I’m misunderstanding, their situations involve two completely different people with very different backgrounds than my current situation. So, I find no basis for any comment. True, one can argue “human nature” is somewhat comparative, but once a spiritual hold takes over, that argument becomes null and void. At least in my opinion. 

So, I will invoke, or meditate on Temperance to help me remember to maintain balance, to at least acknowledge these friends who inadvertently slip and offer something unsolicited but still coming from the goodness of their hearts. Then I can go back to the Hermit and High Priestess to help me find my intuition, my inner voice and head back beyond the veil to my snow-capped mountain retreat.

The High Priestess from
The New Palladini Tarot
by David Palladini

The High Priestess
from The Aquarian Tarot
by David Palladini

Here are three of my favorite depictions of 

the High Priestess.

I tend to favor the bottom one, in all honesty.

The High Priestess
from the Harry Potter deck
by Eleonore Pieper

Strong Whale Vibes

So, I did my regular daily three card reading the other morning. I used The Aquarian Tarot by David Palladini; Power Animals Oracle Cards by Steven Farmer, Ph.D. and The Universe Has My Back by Gabrielle Bernstein.

I've started using the Aquarian Tarot because, well, I'm an Aquarian, and I love the artwork on the cards. There's an art deco feel to the images which has always been an art style that has interested me.

The three cards I pulled for the reading were respectively Strength, Whale and 'My vibes speak louder than my words.'

As I sat and mulled over how to connect them, my instinct went first to the Whale card. The whale card signifies that I am to follow my soul's path, honoring my soul's purpose. So, I'm taking this as the focal point of the reading, the apex if you will.

Whale suggests that I dive into the deepest truth of who I am, past my ego and pay attention not to what I think others think of me, but to the path that calms my soul. I am reminded to also focus on my sense of self as I align with my path, maintaining the faith and courage to dive deeply into myself.

Strength came up to remind me that I indeed have it even if I might not believe I possess the strength (and therefore the courage) to follow through with my purpose. But, it's there. Somewhere. I will admit, there are times I wonder where it is. Looking at that card, the image/energy/feeling of a samurai warrior comes to me even if the art style, the armor nor the facial features are reminiscent of such a person. Call it reader's intuition.

One of the other associations with the Strength card is patience, which is another form of strength as it takes patience to develop one's physical strength, mental fortitude or to even train a dog, which is depicted in the lower right corner of the card. The dog also suggests that I am not alone on my path as the dog would serve as companion to the warrior and watching his back by often alerting him to dangers the warrior might not sense. Just like the Universe watches mine.

As for the vibes card, I interpret that two ways. First, that if I live my truth, that if I follow my path as I see it, even if it goes against the mainstream, my energy-my vibes-will speak louder than if I try to persuade others to see my way of thinking. I should live by example, if you will.

The second example would be my writing. My novels, which have sat ignored for a while now, have started to demand my attention. I think this is part of my soul's purpose, to write my journey through my characters. Plus, the message of my journey will live louder through these characters and long after I have moved into the next phase of my existence. Maybe that's the point, after all. My legacy.

I am also interpreting the strength card to suggest I have the strength to write my characters as I see them and not be swayed to make them more "mainstream." Because they aren't.

They are aspects of me and I don't consider myself mainstream.

Now, I just have to find the strength, hang on to it and dive deep to get past the ego.

And to start writing.

(Note: I am not an Art Historian, Art Major or very knowledgeable about different art styles. According to Mr. Palladini's bio [link below], he illustrated the Aquarian Tarot deck in an Art Nouveau style. So, I stand corrected, and I learned something. Now to investigate the differences. But, it was definitely the art style [as well as the name] that drew me to his version of the tarot.)

All three decks are available from Amazon and other retailers.

For a brief bio on David Palladini, please click here.