|Mom and me, 4 days old|
It's Mother's Day, and several writer friends have commented on their relationships with their mothers, so I thought I'd look at mine.
We never had any 'issues', ours was never a challenging relationship, and mostly because I was too afraid to cause any problems. Sure, we had our disagreements, and one day I was so mad at her, I went and kicked the fence so hard I bruised a bone in my foot. After limping for a day or two, I remember feeling embarrassed to tell her not only what I did, but mostly why I did it. But, I told her and she took me to the doctor and that was that.
Mom, you taught me it was okay to be angry at someone I love, that it doesn't mean the love fades.
My mother grew up in a time where women had few choices. It was her father's desire she go to college. But, she never did go. It was her desire to be a mother. She married my father almost immediately after finishing high school. I followed a couple of years later, my brother a few years after that and she was happy caring for her family. But, the happiness soon ended and when she later married my stepfather and gave him a son, again she chose to stay home and take care of her family. And she was happy. She was a 'room mother' at school for the three of us, alternating each year to show her love equally. And while she was very involved in our lives, she gave us the freedom to be ourselves.
Mom, you taught me to follow your dreams in spite of what others may dream for you.
While our life was far from perfect as my stepfather was constantly relocating for better jobs, my mother did all she could to make each house a home. I have very fond memories of the eleven homes I remember.
Mom, you taught me any house can be a home.
Mom, you taught me I am stronger than I realize.
|Mom and her mother, Georgia 1981~ I sent that tree as a Christmas gift|
Mom, you taught me to stay in touch with those you love.
As with many mothers of gay children, she felt somehow responsible for my being gay, it was somehow her fault. After reassuring her it wasn't, and pointing her in the direction of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), she called the local contact person, as she wanted to understand. We have grown even closer since then. She was distraught at the death of her son-in-law, my first partner; she was very disappointed she couldn't make it to my wedding to my second partner; and she was aching for me when he asked for the divorce. She was also there to pick up the pieces after this last heartache.
Mom, you taught me about unconditional love.
After her second divorce, she bought her own house and made it her home. She gave up real estate several years ago as the hours became too much for her, and she later became a part-time checker at a grocery store. After suffering a terrible third degree burn on her legs and feet a few years ago, she recuperated nicely and eventually returned to work.
Mom, you taught me how to be a survivor.