Radiant RWS deck (c)2003, US Games, Inc |
So, what is keeping her in place?
Her own thoughts. She can’t move forward because she’s caught in her own thoughts. She’s either overthinking a situation and can’t see her way clearly out of it or she’s stuck thinking self-defeating thoughts; “I will never figure this out”, “I’ll never master this subject”, etc. Or something along those lines.
Grimalkin Tarot, (c)2020, MJ Cullinane |
Yet, the card is reversed in my reading. If we look back at the RWS card, turning it upside down would suggest that the swords could fall out. After all, they’re only stuck in by the points. Reversed, this card suggests one would be freeing themselves from paralyzing thoughts; moving past these self-defeating beliefs.
Going into November, I did feel very stuck, unable to free myself from what felt like a mental prison. I am tired of hearing people claim personal or religious liberties regarding various mandates. What about the greater good for all? We are in the middle of a global pandemic. We’ve had health related issues before, though none that have hit the US with such a deadly impact.
Except for one.
HIV/AIDS
Having lived through and survived that one, I’m tired of people complaining about their liberties when no one seemed to be concerned over the liberties of the mostly gay men who were initially being affected by that pandemic.
I could go on, but this is about my month.
I have also been feeling the need for some direction in my life since retirement. I’ve tried finding a part-time job, but that never panned out. I’ve considered volunteering, but unsure of where to volunteer. A pet shelter would be nice, but I’d want to rescue a cat or two. Or several. And my budget is already stretched nearly to breaking with the recent remodel. Being somewhat empathic, plus with the pandemic hanging over our shoulders, I avoid crowds in droves. Or try to, at least. So, volunteering with a large group of people is not in my cards.
I thought of joining a couple of Meet-Ups but I lose interest after a while when the discussion topics no longer appeal to me. Or the host decides to close the group.
So, I hope this helps explain why I felt stuck at the beginning of November.
Yet, something began to shift.
While the events around me haven’t changed, the pandemic is still around with a new variant even. I’ve decided to let those who truly need a job apply for those jobs that are available (plus there’s the whole avoiding crowds issue, as well). I’ve also decided that if any new Meet-Ups do sound intriguing, I’ll explore them and just let what happens, happen. I’ll keep my eyes open for any volunteer options that won’t tug at my heart strings or budget and that may involve only a small group of people.
Yet, I know of at least a couple of swords I'll still need to work around.
The first one represents my opinion of those who don't take this pandemic seriously and see the mandates as an infringement on their rights to liberty and personal choice. But, what about my right not to be sickened by someone else? Do I not matter? What about the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?" I guess that only applies when convenient.
Another sword I'll need to work through is the one about the current state of the US; the polarization over the politics, the racism, the rights of the marginalized, and women's rights to choose appropriate health care.
Being somewhat empathic, these two swords have left me with an overwhelming sense of negative energy which is weighing heavy on me and keeping me behind the waterfall. And therefore, not trusting others enough to socialize more.
So, it seems that some of the swords did appear to shift, letting me get past the waterfall. I'll have to really work on those other two.
Or, at least take steps towards them.
I wonder what the Three of Wands brings me in December. Though, in my reading it, too, was reversed.
Hmmm...
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