October's Queen

Radiant Rider Waite Smith Tarot

We’ve now moved into November, meaning 2020 is drawing nearer to a close. Plus, it means a new month which signals a check in with my New Year reading for October.

My card was the lovely Queen of Swords. Well, some people don’t think she’s that lovely. Swords is the suit of the mind and all that goes on up there. It’s also connected to Air energy and like the air itself, our mind is never completely still. Thoughts come and go like gentle breezes on a spring day or those powerful Santa Ana winds common to Southern California.

Even when we, or at least I, meditate thoughts will creep in and pull us away  from our meditation. Or try to, at least. But, I digress from Her Majesty.

As I mentioned in a previous post, she is the Queen of her Mind. Any kind of mental expansion falls under her domain. So, she rules thought, ideas, clarity, understanding and honesty. Where honesty falls, truth can’t be far behind and we all know that the truth can hurt.

Just like a sword.

Therefore both must be handled with care.

I believe the Queen of Swords is a bit better at it than her husband, the King. She, in my opinion and readings, can bring a bit of balance and a touch of feminine intuition or emotion into the situation to soften the sting, being a bit more diplomatic. Therefore, she would be a good counselor. Unless, she’s reversed.

Which she is here.

Bianco Nero Tarot, Marco Proietto
(c)2018 US Games

I read reversed single cards as energy directed inward to the seeker, in this case, that would be me. 

This indeed has been a rough month in terms of facing some deep inner truths about myself and the world at large, rougher than I had imagined. I previously covered some of this in my post on Saturn and Venus, only to discover that Uranus and Mercury are having another intense moment or year which could lead (and probably will) to another post.

I'm not sure if anyone is aware but we were having an election here in the United States. Watching myself react to the news and all the dis- and misinformation being spread around, both about the election and the Coronavirus, led me to seriously consider abandoning all social media (which I pretty much had anyway). Seeing and hearing of people blatantly disregard the protocols for managing the virus has caused me to seriously consider fully embracing my Hermit soul and withdraw even more from society. 

But, what would that truly accomplish?

Nothing more than a deepening distrust of people which had already been underway and somewhat underscored by Saturn and Venus.

And in reality isn’t very healthy.

But, I can only do what’s right for me, retreat when I need and explore when I feel like it.

I will continue my daily walks (weather permitting-which really isn’t a problem in Southern California.) I will continue with my morning meditations and Qi Gong practices with some occasional yoga thrown in.

These last months of 2020 will be challenging for me, at least on a mental level, as the last three cards are all Swords. Many people shudder when Swords appear as they are connected to our thoughts. We all know that thoughts can be dangerous as they can lead to overthinking which often causes us to create dramatic scenarios in our minds or leads us down paths we shouldn’t be following therefore creating anxiety or depression. I don’t feel all Swords cards are to be feared, in fact the truth shouldn’t be, as painful as it might be.

In fact the card for November is one of my favorite cards of the suit.

The Four.

Let’s see how this plays out. 

Radiant Rider Waite Smith Tarot

 

OA

I feel I’m in need of an OA chapter.

Not Overeaters Anonymous.

Overthinkers Anonymous.

In a previous post, I mentioned my Aquarius/Libra combination along with the marriage of the King and Queen of Swords running around in my head. In the Tarot, the suit of Swords is connected to the Air element and Aquarius and Libra are both Air signs which makes me a double air person. Air is connected to the mind together with everything that goes along with it-thoughts, logic, learning, etc. Like the air itself, our thoughts can be quite turbulent at times, like a raging F5 tornado, though sometimes they can be a gentle breeze. But, rarely are they calm.

Clip art from Clipart Panda

With our current situations; political, social and Covid related, plus a few personal/emotional concerns, I’ve been in hyperdrive. Tornado sirens are going off in my head. Or the King and Queen are breeding like rabbits up there.

Even past situations have been coming back into play recently.

With the Black Lives Matter movement back in the mainstream news, I’ve taken a strong look at myself and how I may be unconsciously harboring racist and then by extension, sexist thoughts. Ones I might not have been aware of.

For example, many years ago, a young Black man, probably in his twenties, came knocking on my door. I live in a small gated community of thirty-five houses. He explained he had locked himself out of his house and heard I had a ladder tall enough to get in a second floor window so he could get his keys and wallet. Could he borrow it? Now, I had seen him once or twice in the community yet I still wondered if his story was true as I couldn’t place him in a particular house. But, I didn’t want to judge him based on his race and gender. I knew what I was doing-racially profiling him. I pushed that aside and offered to help him carry the ladder. As we walked to his house, I kept asking myself if I was doing the right thing. It bothered me that I had these thoughts the whole way there. He made it in the house, retrieved his keys and wallet then helped me bring the ladder back to my garage. He thanked me and went on his way.

As it turned out, during a Residents’ meeting later that month, I was talking with a Black woman who turned out to be his mother. I said I may have met her son and explained the situation. She told me how mad she got at him that he had locked himself out of the house and for the trouble he could have gotten himself into. She was grateful I helped him. I can’t recall if I explained my dilemma or not, but I’m sure she knew I must have had some thoughts along those lines.

I still feel badly for having had them.

One similar situation also has been coming to light lately. I was stopped at a red light on one hot afternoon also a few years ago. I decided then it was time to roll up the windows and turn on the air conditioning in my car. Just as I did this, a Black man was crossing the street in front of me. My thoughts were “OMG! I hope he doesn’t think I rolled up my windows because he was crossing in front of me!!” I tried to come back into the moment by reminding myself of my intentions and that I hadn’t seen him until after I started to roll up the windows and turn on the air. 

Now when I’m out for my morning walk and someone is walking toward me, if I can see they aren’t wearing a mask, I safely step into the street. Then I wonder if that person thinks I’m doing it because of their race. Especially if they aren’t white.

But, if they think what I think they think, then that is their business to process. I have more than enough trouble thinking about my thinking to worry about thinking what others are thinking. 

See, I told you I overthink.

I need help.

I’m trying to turn this curse into a blessing by not thinking about it. When I find my thoughts drifting into the darkness, I try to remember to bring myself back into the moment by focusing on what I am doing right then. Sometimes, if I’m walking, I focus on which foot I’m stepping with right then; right, left, right, left, etc. If I’m in my neighborhood, I focus on finding some detail of a house, a plant, or something new I hadn’t seen before. Or, I play music and focus on the lyrics. If I‘m out in nature, I focus on the sounds I’m hearing and try to identify them if possible. If I’m home, I concentrate on the task at hand, but how many times can you clean a bathroom, wash dishes, fold laundry or make the bed? Especially if you live alone? 

I will also try to focus on my breath making sure I'm breathing deep, abdominal breaths. Or I'll try a breathing strategy. Two I'll often use are:

• Breathe in for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for four, wait for four, repeat, or;
• Breathe in for a count of seven, hold for four, exhale for a count of eight, wait for a count of four, repeat.

But, my real trouble is at night when my guard is down so I can relax and drift away to sleep but my brain has other plans. Or in the morning when I’m beginning to achieve consciousness but still in that hazy, dreamy state and the train of thoughts is already pulling out of the station.

I wonder if there is such a thing as Overthinkers Anonymous and if there is a local chapter.

If not, maybe I should be a founding member?

I’ll have to think about it.

Swords, Significators and Souls

The Court
as represented in various decks

There is a small group of cards within the Tarot deck that gives beginning readers some trouble. Collectively they are referred to as the Court cards, or the Royals, because they are comprised of a Page, a Knight, a Queen and a King. There is one of each rank in each of the four suits; Swords, Cups, Pentacles (Coins), or Wands, for a total of sixteen Court Cards.

Each suit tells a story as it relates to the theme of the suit; Mind, Heart, Body or Soul. The story begins with the Ace and finishes with the Ten, then we encounter the Court. I’ve come to see these cards as the characters within the story as it relates to their individual theme. I also see them as reflecting their experience with their story based on their rank and age, then by gender to help differentiate the Queen and the King as they are about the same age. And in my own head, they are a happy little family, when one or more are not reversed or under the influence of some other card’s energy.

When these cards show up in a reading, they can suggest a person with that personality is somehow connected to the situation. They could also suggest an aspect of the individual seeking the reading or even an attitude the seeker might adopt or abandon to further resolve any issues connected to their question. 

In addition, many readers and tarot fanatics select one of these cards to act as a significator within the deck or during a reading.

Let me explain further. 

Swords is the suit of the mind and all that goes on up there; thought, logic, reasoning, understanding, clarity, truth, honesty, communication, etc. The Page is the youngest of the Court so they are learning how to master their thoughts, how to reason, how to express themselves clearly and how to discern fact from fiction, as well as reliable news sources. They can have an air of innocence as well as eagerness.

The Knight is a bit older than the Page, so they have a little more experience under their belt. I think of the Page as still studying while the Knight is the recent graduate ready to take on the world with their new ideas. They can still be a bit on the tentative side or a bit overconfident ready to challenge the establishment and bend it to their will. They lack the life experience to know how to be tactful, when to charge forth and when to hold back until the time is right. 

 

King of Swords
Radiant Tarot

The King, on the other hand, is a master of his suit. He is a man with life experience who continues to seek deeper understanding, truth and education and understands the value of such pursuits. He is also witty and has a keen sense of humor. He is a communicator and loves to impart his knowledge which makes him a good instructor. He can be a  judge or counsellor, as he is impartial since he relies on facts-not emotions. However, he can have a bit of an attitude if you ask his advice and then don’t follow it which will make him feel that you’ve wasted his time. He has little tolerance for people’s lack of understanding the facts of the matter especially when he’s researched them and wonders why they don’t see them. It is glaringly obvious to him, so it should be to others as well. Be careful if you ask him his opinion as his sword wields the truth. And the truth can hurt.

The Water Bearer pouring his
knowledge over humanity

As I was studying the Court cards when I first began reading a couple of years ago, I felt I connected to him, more for his positive aspects rather than his bluntness. Or sharpness. After all, a blunt sword is useless. I shared my connection with my study group when someone pointed out that the King of Swords is also connected to Aquarius as those same attributes describe an Aquarian. And that is my Sun sign. So, that cemented the deal. He is my significator. So, when he shows up in a reading for me, I pay particular attention to where he shows up and whether he’s reversed or not. 

I find he is quite active lately. And maybe not in a good way, perhaps he’s reversed right now. A reversed Court card could either bring out the meeker side of their personality or the darker one.

I’ve been reading reports from virologists and epidemiologists regarding the novel Coronavirus, not solely articles written by news reporters only highlighting the gist of what some expert said. I was also reading firsthand reports of medical personnel and their accounts of what they were witnessing in their patients as well as studying accounts of survivors and their personal experiences. Therefore, I feel I know what’s true, who’s reliable and where to put my trust.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I understand the information we were receiving at the beginning of the pandemic was spotty and confusing which led to some frustration as to what to do, how it was transmitted, how dangerous it was, how it manifested in patients. So, I understand the frustration we were feeling. 

But, come on people! This is a new virus that no one knew anything about at first, like at the beginning of the HIV/AIDS pandemic in the 1980’s which I lived through so I also have some personal experience with such situations. Let’s give the scientific community a chance to find out as much as they can and also not overtax the medical community in a rush to get back to normal, whatever that is or will be. This is the King of Swords getting agitated at the lack of common sense. Okay, it’s me, too. The King has to learn to sheathe his sword and take care of himself and let others do the same, even if it doesn’t make sense to him (me.) Even if it kills them, which it very well could.

The other thing that has been plaguing me as an Aquarian is the injustice that is and has been happening.

Aquarians are a bit of a rebel as we like to march to our own drum. We also have a humanitarian side. We see the bigger picture.

As a child, I was very sensitive to the pain of others, be it physical or emotional. (I still am, but have learned to shield myself somewhat.) My stepfather was very racist, misogynistic and undoubtedly homophobic, though I don’t recall any particular episodes or discussions around the latter. He would drop racial epithets all the time, tell ethnic jokes and degrade women.  It all triggered me. This was during the Civil Rights and Women’s Lib movements of the 60’s and 70’s which made our home very tense. My mother didn’t stand up to him as she knew better since he was taller than she was by at least a foot and she was petite. Plus, his temper was not to be reckoned with. 

The American sitcom All in the Family debuted during this era and tackled many topics once considered taboo for American television. The main character, Archie Bunker, was very bigoted and used many racial and ethnic epithets. My stepfather enjoyed the show, I did not. While I was never made to sit and watch the show I was told that his attitude was one many people shared and I’d better damn well get used to it.

Let’s ratchet this up a notch.

The Libra scales of justice,
fairness, balance and equality

My ascending, or rising, sign is Libra. Astrologers take the rising sign as one of the three key signs in understanding a person’s basic personality with the moon sign completing the trifecta. The rising sign is the way we first present ourselves until we feel comfortable revealing more of our truer personality. It’s our “social mask” if you will.

Libra is the only zodiac sign represented by a non-living symbol, the Scales, or Balance. Librans like to see justice and fairness for everyone involved. So, as an Aquarian with a Libra ascendant, I have humanitarian views that seek fairness, justice and balance for all. When that scale is upset, as it is now, and people don’t share my humanitarian ideals, I go nuts. “Why can’t they see the imbalance, injustices and unfairness as they exist right now?” And then, because both Aquarius and Libra are air signs, these people spend a lot of time in their heads overthinking and overanalyzing everything. And I do mean everything. So, I get the double whammy.

Speaking of double whammies, the Court card for Libra is the Queen of Swords. So, when she appears in a reading, I give her a little more attention as well. She’s like a secondary significator. She differs from her husband in that, as a woman, she brings in some of her feminine intuition. See, I told you gender would play a sexist role.

Like her husband, she is also witty, intelligent and impartial. She will be direct in her advice, but will be there to help if it gets too emotional. She has some sympathy, more than her husband would but less than the other queens of the deck. She is the Queen of her mind, after all. Since she is known more for her intellect than her emotions, she can be emotionally distant. Some readers say she can be downright cold and bitter particularly if she's reversed.

Queen of Swords
Radiant Tarot

She has an underlying strength I feel doesn’t get enough attention from some readers. She wants to be known for her intellect which, let’s face it, is viewed more as a ‘masculine’ trait since men are seen as more in their heads and less ‘feeling’ than women. Why else would we have coined the term ‘mansplaining?’ She’s trying very hard to make it in this ‘masculine’ world. Do not 'mansplain’ to her or you may barely see the flash of her sword as she cuts you down.

The apparent lack of concern for the rest of humanity from many individuals in regards to the coronavirus with its potential toll on the medical communities and the potential health and morbidity risks of this virus, plus the disregard of social inequities and inequalities, the resurgence of Black Lives Matter and the counter-reactions, in addition to the push to reopen the economy without realizing that the economy itself depends on a healthy populace in order to sustain it, all converging at once have my inner King and Queen of Swords readying their weapons to lop off a few heads. But they can’t, so they, and my Aquarius/Libra soul, remain frustrated and somewhat disillusioned with humanity.

As I've been walking, or trying to walk, a more spiritual path over these past few years, I've been learning to detach from those whose political, religious and spiritual beliefs differ from mine. After all, we are entitled to our different beliefs. Plus, as a highly sensitive/empathic person, the fact that many people seem to care only for themselves during these difficult times hurts me, deeply. “Do you not see what you are doing to others? Do you not care? Do you have no compassion?” This side of my nature makes it ever so hard to detach. And judge less.

I continue to study the science behind the virus and the statistics driving the Black Lives Matter movement so that, when asked, I can share what I've learned. I can only hope that someone will listen and change their behavior or at least their beliefs. I just hope I’m not wasting my time.

Maybe my lesson here is that as long as I'm educating myself, I’m not actually wasting my time, but realizing I need to detach much more now, which is a very hard lesson to learn in such a very difficult time. I just need to live and take care of myself the best I can and let those fools others make their own choices and live with the consequences.

But, this seems so much more challenging to detach from.

Perhaps it's because I see people's health-and ultimately their lives-in danger.

And that troubles me greatly.

Credits for the cards in lead photo:
Page of Swords, Illustrated by Siena Summers for Pride Tarot, (c) 2020 US Games, Inc.
Knight of Cups, Crow Tarot, MJ Cullinane, (c) 2019 US Games, Inc.
Queen of Coins (Pentacles), Tarot of Dreams, Ciro Marchetti, (c) 2005 US Games, Inc.
King of Wands, Bianco Nero Tarot, Marco Proietto, (c) 2018 US Games, Inc.
Photo by Jeffrey Ballam


For information on these and other fine decks available from US Games, Inc. click here

For information on MJ Cullinane and her other projects, click here.