A Cheerful Giver

I spent most of my teen years in fundamental Baptist churches. I even tried to remain religious through my turbulent coming out years. That didn’t go well. Not the coming out, though that had its moments; but, the remaining religious part. I eventually became more spiritual which is quite different. 

I remember many of the principles from my religious indoctrination, one of them being “God loves a cheerful giver” which was often said as the offering plates were being passed around. I doubt that was any coincidence, maybe to encourage the indoctrinated to give more, or at least to feel more cheerful about what we were able to give. 

I have since come to believe more in a Universal energy than some deity sitting somewhere wanting to be worshipped. I’ve also come to believe our energies create our reality, or perhaps our perception of it. I think of it as a mindset. Walt Disney once said, “if you can dream it, you can do it.” And Henry Ford also said, “if you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

Karma even gets into it here with the “what goes around, comes around threefold” ideology; treat people with kindness and the universe will respond in kind and vice versa times three. The trouble with this karma thing is that karma works on its own timetable. 

I feel we could extend this mindset idea to other matters as well. 

For example, in dating situations, if we believe all men or women are dishonest, we will attract men or women who are dishonest. In our material world, if we maintain a poverty mindset, we will remain in poverty. 

I do feel badly for those who are in need and try to help when I can. And when I do help, I try to do it cheerfully, not out of  guilt, exasperation or a feeling of “If I give you a dollar, will you shut up and go away?”

Nor do I help with the idea of expecting a karmic benefit, meaning that for every dollar I cheerfully offer someone I don’t expect three in return. Karma doesn’t work like that. I believe karma looks at your intention. If you do something positive with the intention of being rewarded for it, karma says no because it's not coming from the heart. Expectations are planned disappointments, even karmic ones. Yes, even karma loves a cheerful giver. 

Speaking of cheerful givers, I had an odd experience the other day right before Christmas.

I went shopping and as I was entering the store, a woman exited. “I don’t have any money for groceries,” she said, “Could you please help?”

I quickly gave her the once over; her hair was pulled back into a bun, she had on some makeup, her clothes were neat and clean, though why all that registered with me, I don't know. I then caught myself remembering I don’t need to know why she was in this predicament. Maybe she still had a job and a roof over her head, but just needed money for food for the holidays due to reasons unknown to me. I caught myself for being a bit judgmental and reached for my wallet. I pulled out a dollar, handed it to her and prepared to go on my way. Yet there was something in her energy that still left me uneasy.

“Could you make it a twenty?” She asked. 

My immediate thought was “WTF?”, snapped “No!” and considered taking my dollar back due to an apparent lack of gratitude, but didn’t. So much for being a cheerful giver. 

On one hand she had some nerve to ask for more, on the other hand she had the right to ask. Yet, not once did she mention children to add credence or guilt to her plight. 

I continued with my shopping, exited the store, whereupon she asked me once again for money. 

“I already gave you some” I answered curtly, still irritated about the ‘make it a twenty’ issue and that she apparently forgot that I had just given her money a few moments before.

“Oh, thank you.”

As I walk this path, I try to react without judgment, but I am human as well. I find myself reviewing, rehashing and rethinking overthinking things.

Actually, I need to learn not to react which is very hard. 

Therapists say the major part of our stress and anxiety lies in how we react to or perceive events.

Which makes it all the more important not to react.

Somehow.