Tuesday, August 14, 2012


My little mantis friend follows natural instincts to eat. He, or she, chose this particular plant in my yard to call home because s/he saw abundant prey opportunities. Here a fly is in grave danger.

Many of us humans get in trouble because we may fight our instincts. I have only recently begun truly trusting mine.

A while back I needed to go to my bank, an institution I adore! I have always felt welcome, they know me by name, the staff have remembered personal details that may have come up in conversation. Every person I have come in contact with at that branch has been very supportive in handling the banking details surrounding my same-sex divorce. But, I digress.

I stopped in to make a transaction with a teller, not at the ATM. She was pleasant, and as part of her job offered me a line of credit/overdraft application which I declined. She suggested, very politely, that perhaps the bank could help with my mortgage, and also work with me to help get a better overall sense of my finances as I was newly single. At that moment, I was filled with such an overwhelming sense of gratitude, I knew that the Universe was telling me, "Listen to her." And I left, knowing I would be back. I would call, perhaps over the summer.

Life got in the way, and I never made the call. However, I did receive a call from a gentleman from the bank, but a different branch. He wanted twenty-minutes of my time to see if the bank could help me with my mortgage. I stopped in to see him, and the loan is approved pending the closing costs can be included. My instincts were right! My bank would be the one to help!

When I found myself alone in my four bedroom, two and a half bath, 1,750 square foot home two years ago, I wondered what was I going to do with all this space. I spent some time alone, first grieving the loss of my marriage. Next, I celebrated my freedom. Then, I got rid of a lot of unnecessary clutter as I contemplated a roommate, first for financial assistance, and secondly, for company hoping we could be friends as well. Nothing seemed to pan out. I listed my house with three different agencies, and nothing, nada, zero, zilch. The Universe was telling me something! The time, or I, wasn't ready.

And yet, just this week and opportunity came up.  I was having a discussion with a guy I've come to respect for his views, and when it became apparent he might be needing a place soon, I offered my house. It felt instinctive, it felt the right thing for me to do. Whether it's the right thing for him to accept, that's for him to decide. Only time will tell.

As for the recent guy I was seeing. My instincts again were right. It wasn't meant to be. And that was one of my lessons here. Trust. Trust not only that the Universe will provide and take care of me, but trust in my own instincts.

And my last one; a friend shared with me that she feels it is not an online app or a social event or speed dating that will lead me to a relationship, but my writing ultimately will. And when she said it, it felt right. I shared this story with a mutual friend, and it felt even better.

I feel like these (the loan, the roommate, the writing) are all pieces of a puzzle and they are all falling into place and the picture is getting clearer.

It is a door.

I am on the threshold and am about to step through into a new adventure.

Just a hunch.


  1. I like what you wrote, Jeff. I see you are becoming an optimistic visionary. I'll stay tuned!

  2. I like what Nancy said to you...what more can I add? :-)