Time, Frogs, a Prince and a Parable

One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high-powered over-achievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz" and he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouth mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. He also produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?" Everyone in the class yelled, "Yes." The time management expert replied, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. He then asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?" By this time the class was on to him. "Probably not," one of them answered. "Good!" he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?" "No!" the class shouted. Once again he said, "Good." Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?" One eager student raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!" "No," the speaker replied, "that's not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is, "If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all. What are the 'big rocks' in your life, time with loved ones, your faith, your education, your dreams, a worthy cause, teaching or mentoring others? Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you'll never get them in at all. So, tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question, "What are the 'big rocks' in my life?" Then, put those in your jar first.

As I look at my life post-divorce, I have noticed many changes in both my self and my life. One change I've noticed is that time has become my enemy, sort of. I don't seem to have enough, which makes sense as I am living alone doing the work of two around the house. My dog and cat both have issues, the cat has physical issues (she's aging) and the dog has emotional issues (he stresses out). Both of which lead to bowel problems, which means medicines and cleaning up after them. It also feels like my teaching load has doubled, since I am teaching more students, but less subjects, which is a big change to adjust to after twenty-eight years of being self-contained. I am trying to stay on top of the housework, the lesson planning, the paper grading, the other school related duties, and especially my blogging, as it has become somewhat cathartic for me. And now that I will be a published author with a book to promote, (yay!) that will be one other rock to add to my jar. But wait, did I mention a social life? Let alone dating? Exercise? Writing my next best-seller? Or at least a short story? Reading? Playtime with my dog and cat? And above all, just plain RELAXING? How do I fit it all in and not lose my sanity, which at times feels like it's too late?

Obviously, I just need to prioritize and label the rocks, gravel, sand and water for my own jar. And find the balance between all of the rocks. For me, the rocks are, in no particular order, my health, time with my dog and cat, my career, and my house. The gravel would be; a social life, writing, and reading. The sand and water would be anything left over, like dating.

I sense my life is taking on a new direction. I don't know why I sense it, I just do. Maybe it's in the wind, or the stars. Over the last few months, many of my horoscopes have been hinting at just such a change. What direction it will take only the Universe knows. Career? Hmmm... Financial? That would be nice. Romance? Nah, I don't have the time right now to include a new boyfriend in my life. And I am content with being alone for right now. Yes, I really am. Seriously. (But, now that I have said that, watch it happen! Last time I made a comment about wanting someone to take care of me, I met someone special, but things didn't work out.)

When my ex first left, and I went into recovery/self-discovery mode, I KNEW the Universe had someone for me. Now, I am not as convinced there is someone. In time, if it's meant to be, it will happen. For the meantime, I must concentrate on the task at hand; learning to better manage my time.

There is an old saying from the 70's (that's when I first heard it). To meet Prince Charming, you have to kiss a lot of frogs. That is true. But, before I can kiss them, I have to meet the frogs, and to meet them, I need to get in the pond. And to get in the pond I need the time to get out there. And I will, eventually.

Horned Amazon frog. (I didn't take this photo.)

I'd like to end with one of my favorite pictures. The spider doesn't worry about time. The spider just keeps working until it all gets done. And it all does get done in the end. And so it shall with me.

Spider Web, San Fernando Mission, San Fernando, CA 2007