Thursday, February 23, 2012

Overheard at Dinner

"So, have you started dating yet?"
"No."
"And why not? You're a great catch; handsome, intelligent, witty."
"Thanks. I don't think I'm ready, yet."
"Why not? How long has it been since you've been out?"
"On a date? I haven't since the divorce."
"Oh, my. That long?"
"Yes."
"Why don't you think you are ready?"
"Many reasons."
"Like?"
"I have no money. I don't have the time or the energy to invest, right now."
"Those are all just excuses."
"Really? I don't think so. As for the money, I am barely making it to the end of the month. How can I contribute anything to a date? Work has me so overworked, I don't have time. I'm so exhausted by the end of the day, I'm in bed by 9:00. And then I bring so much work home with me, and what with managing the house and yard.....I don't feel I have any time for myself, let alone a new boyfriend."
"You could make time if you wanted."
"What about you? Are you dating?"
"No, and stop deflecting the question."
"Why aren't you dating? You're a great catch as well; you're sensitive, a good communicator, romantic. And also good looking."
"Thanks. But, I don't want to, right now."
"Why?"
"It doesn't feel right, I just don't know why."
"I think you do."
"All right then, you tell me; why don't I want to date?"
"You're scared."
"Of what?"
"Of being hurt again."
"Smartass."
"So, I'm right?"
"Yes."
"Getting hurt is part of life. It's a learning process."
"You know, sometimes you really annoy me with your logic, and all intellectual approach to life. Getting hurt is not fun. IT HURTS! And after this last guy I was seeing, I don't want to go through it again. It hurt like hell!"
"I understand."
"There you go again, with your understanding. Do you know what it feels like?"
"I can imagine."
"Imagine all you want, you will never understand until you feel it."
"Do you think it's fair for me to not contribute to a date? If you met someone who didn't feel he had the time or energy to invest in dating you, would you think it fair?"
"It might not be fair, but if that is where he is, I'd learn to accept it, and work with him, if I really liked him enough to want to get to know him."
"I don't like the feeling it gives me, being dependent like that."
"Wait a minute! Mr. Intellectual doesn't like the way he feels about something? Are you going all soft and emotional on me? I don't understand you any more."
"Oh, so now you're trying to understand me now, are you? Are you letting go of all that touchy-feely stuff and thinking?"
"Why would I do that? That's who I am, all touchy-feely."
"And I'm very logical about things, that's just me. So what do we do now?"
"I don't know. Just continue on a wait-and-see-where-life-takes-us approach?"
"Makes sense to me. But, we should try and get out a bit more, but stay within our budget."
"Agreed. Oh, and if someone interesting does come along, we play it a bit more cautious."
"What do you mean?"
"I'll try not to get all hopeful, and you will try not to over-analyze everything he says or does."
"I'll try, but old habits die hard."
"Tell me about it."
"You mean we live in the moment, not projecting into the future."
"Yes."
"It won't be easy, but I'll try."
"That's all we can do is try. And work together."
"Together."

And with that, I put my dishes in the sink, and went upstairs to read.

8 comments:

  1. Bravo Jeff! Absolutely brilliantly done, although I know that it was not your intention. We all do so have these conversations with ourselves, sometimes ending peacefully, where we feel at harmony with all our many "selves." Other times, we just go round and round, causing our many personalities to become dizzy and more confused. When this happens, I attempt to inhale deeply, relaxing with the long exhale, and trust that my inner heart...my spiritual connection, will lead me in the right direction. Safe from disappointment or hurt? Maybe not. But surely, there will be growth in a direction that I will someday know I was blessed to gain.

    Congratulations on your upcoming book publication!!! Will stay posted.

    Evie

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    1. Evie,

      Thank you for reading and your comment. As always, I get so much from your kind words. I am also excited on being published, and nervous as this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life and who knows where it will go.

      Thank you again,
      Jeff

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  2. Oh, Jeff, good job. It took me a minute to catch on, but I got it! We've all been in that position, I think. A constant need to please ourselves. But it's like you say at the end there, all we can do is try, right? :)

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    1. Sean,

      Thank you for your comment. Yes, I believe all we can ever do is try at whatever comes our way. If we don't even try, we've already given up.

      Thanks again,
      Jeff

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