Monday, December 12, 2016

Intentions 2

Why is it people feel the need to force their beliefs and/or feelings on others?

An acquaintance who is blissfully newly married insists I 'concentrate on finding a mate.'
(I think she's maybe two years into her marriage-so it's not so new, but still in the 'honeymoon' phase)

Here's how it went down. I was in a room when I felt a sneeze coming on. It began to tease me, coming on slowly, and eventually beginning to build when she entered the same room, "Good Morning" she greeted me. I held up my hand to acknowledge her, and because of the look on my just-about-to-sneeze-face she stopped and waited.

"Are you coming down with something?" she asked when it finally arrived.

"No, getting over something I've had on and off since before Thanksgiving. And good morning to you."

"Well, you don't need to be sick over your winter break. That's why you need to concentrate on finding a mate."

Why? Is he going to make me feel better? Prevent me from ever catching a cold/virus/incurable disease ever again?

"No, I don't. And my therapist actually agrees with me, I'm happier not being in a relationship."

"Well, I can take you to a therapist who would disagree," she went on. 

My defenses are now rising.

At this point, a mutual acquaintance walked in on this discussion, Acquaintance 1 turns to her and asks "Aren't you happy being married?"

"Oh, yes," Acquaintance 2 answered, "He's my best friend."

A1 turns to me, "See, she's happy. You need to...."

"NO! I don't want to." I emphatically interrupted. "And, fyi, I have tried meeting men after my divorce, only to be blatantly lied to, openly deceived, and worse," I said counting them off on my fingers.

"But..." A1 tried to say...

"NO! When I see any couple-gay, lesbian, straight-engaging in any form of intimacy, I get physically ill." At this point A2 quickly departs the room.

"Well, you just have memories of before...I'll work on you after your break."


Now, I do understand and appreciate that A1 is acting in what she thinks is my best interest. I get that. She's finally happy, so she's proselytizing the benefits of marriage/coupledom like a good little missionary. She has good intentions, I know that. Yet, isn't there something about a certain road and its paving material leading to some unpleasant destination?

What she doesn't know is my last break up led to not only a broken heart, but a shredded soul as well. So, I'm not in an emotional state for anything at this point. And she doesn't need to know.

But, what bothers me more, is that this is my life, my journey and any trespassing on my space leaves me feeling violated. And, that's all she needs to know.

And what's more, we've had this conversation once or twice before, so she's not taking me seriously. I hate being challenged, because that sets my Aquarian tenacity even firmer. We Aquarians can be very firm in our convictions. And extremely protective of our hearts.

And being told what to do is the surest way to get an Aquarian not to do it.

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