Tuesday, August 9, 2011
We also have emotional clutter; unresolved feelings, unexpressed anger/hurt/regret at someone; things left unsaid, never telling someone you loved him; unanswered questions, why did she really leave? All of these leave emotional clutter in our lives. I have been coming across a lot of clutter on this journey. And it all could get in the way when I meet the Man Across the Bridge. For me, this emotional clutter has been in the area of unresolved relationships. And I don't necessarily mean romantic ones.
As an example, my post "Entrances and Exits" dealt with the friend who had stepped (or, more precisely, was pushed) aside for my happiness and my wanting to make amends. I mailed the card to be there just before her birthday. I merely signed the card, "Happy Birthday, Jeff." But, I also included a note explaining that I just found out the truth; that I had blamed the wrong person, and wanted to restart where we left off. I included my home and cell numbers, and hastily wrote in my email address at the last minute. I waited on pins and needles for a response. About a week after I mailed the card, I got an email from her. She thanked me for remembering her birthday and promised to call me soon. And now I wait, again.
And there is a third relationship I am wondering about. She had been a good friend, one of those who enter and exit and you pick up right where you left off. But, I thought she was the one coming between Birthday Girl and me. And now, I understand she was there for Birthday Girl. Still, I'm not sure I'm ready to settle this one, and I don't know why. But, if I am to clean up the clutter in my emotional life, maybe I should. Or, maybe it's just the right thing to do.