Friendly? Reminders

Lately, it seems a few people have popped back into my life after being MIA for a while. That happens. Life takes us in different paths so we may outgrow relationships. Sometimes those paths cross back again.

I, too, have often wondered what happened to someone who was once a part of my life. But, I usually let those thoughts go as sometimes there are old wounds that have healed and my intuition tells me it’s best not to pick at that scab. The scars left behind are reminders enough.

Still, it was nice catching up with them and seeing what they’ve been up to.

Yet, it wasn’t so pleasant finding out about some other members of that circle who had also drifted away over the years.

Apparently, two members of this one little circle have crossed over to a different plane of existence just within the last year. It still came as a surprise but, in reality, wasn’t unexpected. At least for one of them.

I filed this all away in the back of my head. After all, I hadn’t seen one of them for about 8 years and hadn’t been in touch with the other for about 6.

And I went about my days. 

Recently, I had a sudden urge to find two particular photographs my grandfather had taken of me as an infant. Whenever we were together, he would take pictures of me and then file them away in an album. Being a photographer with his own developer and dark room, he’d make multiple copies in various sizes and then send copies to my mother and she would file them away in her own album. He also had done this for each of his grandchildren.  When he passed and my grandmother moved into a smaller residence, my aunt and her family had the laborious task of cleaning out my grandparents’ house. She sent me the album my grandfather had made of me. At one point, my mother began downsizing her own house so, I now have two of them and therefore lots of duplicate and triplicate photos.

It was interesting to see my life through his lens.

Neither picture that I was looking for was in either book. Yet, I know they exist. And I will find them if I’m meant to have them.

While I was searching through these books, and all the other photographs I have stored in a big box, I came across an envelope with some forgotten snapshots from the time we committed my first partner’s ashes to the sea. 

And in that particular envelope were pictures with the two friends who had recently passed on. Plus a third who had passed on years before. 

Hearing that they had passed was one thing. Now seeing them in these pictures with all of us together at that particular event was another and it hit me a bit harder.

Realizing these most recent two were close to my age at the times of their passing was also a bit of a shock.

It became a reminder of my own mortality. 

It was also a reminder that I’m at that age where this will become more common.

I remember first getting the alumni magazine from my college and reading about classmates who got married. Time went on and then I was reading about their children and subsequent grandchildren. Occasionally, there would be the tragic accident or rare passing due to disease taking someone way too young. Now, it seems it may be the obituaries I’ll scan. Or not. It feels morbid even if it’s part of life. Who’s still here and who isn’t?

And regardless, time and life will march on seemingly oblivious to us all.

Or, maybe time and life are not as oblivious and this is a necessary phase of life.

As uncomfortable as it may be.

(Yes, I know I should digitally store the photos and one day I will get around to it, but there are probably thousands of pictures of all types to sort through and decide which ones are worth keeping.)