The GRE

No, I’m not taking a college entrance exam, I just felt it was time to check in with the Great Roommate Experiment.

It has been a little over two weeks, and things are running fairly smoothly. Fairly smoothly, for sharing living quarters with someone whose life plays like a Mexican Telenovela and I’m not tuning in to that program, let alone that channel.

I’m learning to set and reinforce my boundaries, while learning to negotiate without feeling like I’m being taken advantage of. Ah, the lessons life brings us…

(Did you notice the word 'and' in the sentence above; italics, bold and underlined?)

Plus, I’m learning to trust having someone in my space, even when I’m not there. Big steps…many steps...all at once.

Roommate: “Oh, what a lovely garden. You should grow tomatoes back here.” (Regular readers should sense my hackles rising right about now.)

Me: (taking calming breaths) “My ex and I did. It was a disaster.” 

RM: “Oh? What happened?”

Me: “They became overgrown and we couldn’t eat all the tomatoes, so we threw most of them out. It became a waste of money. Besides, I just had this all professionally landscaped.”

RM: “Oh. You should move the table under the tree, then you won’t need the umbrella.” 

Me: (deeper breaths) “You mean move the table off the smooth patio, onto the unleveled ground, in-between the plants where there is no room without tearing up the plants I just paid for?”

RM: “So, you don’t want to do it?”

Me: “I like the view of the garden from my dining room table. I designed it that way with the landscapers.”

RM: “Oh.”

In this case I had every right to set boundaries. After all, I have lived here over fifteen years, the last eight on my own. She hadn’t been here fifteen hours.

Later…

RM: “You should rent this room out after I leave. You could make about $500.00 a month.”

Me: “I’ll take that into consideration.” 

RM: “Don’t you want to make extra money? I mean, $500.00 more a month. That’s a lot.”

Me: “I said, I would think about it.”

RM: “I also have a friend who needs a place. He’s quiet, very studious and cute.”

Me: “I’ll take your ideas into consideration.”

RM: “I don’t understand you.”

Me: “You don’t have to.”

And...

RM: “You really need to go out and date more.”

Me: (Super deep calming breaths, like way down to my toes) “No.”

RM: “Why not? Don’t you want to meet someone?”

Me: “No, and I’m tired of the lies and games men play. Plus, they’re usually after only one thing anyway.”

RM: “You’re just stereotyping.”

Me: “Perhaps, I am. Yet, many stereotypes are based somewhat in truths. And have you met a man who didn’t either lie, play games or want only one thing from you?”

RM: No answer

Me: “Plus, since I just retired, I’m looking for a new passion to pursue, as well as work on myself. And I don’t want to get distracted from that which dating would do because I would start to focus on him.”

And there have been some other questions I felt were a bit too personal. 

RM: “You always take things too personal.”

Me: “Maybe because you are asking questions I feel are a bit personal and none of your business.”

RM: “I have the right to ask!”

Me: “You do indeed. You just don’t have the right to know the answer.”

RM: (Plays more intently with her phone.)

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Is there an oracle card for that? Yes, the Bear card from the Power Animals app. I'll keep Bear in mind when I need to stand my ground.

I know this has to be preparation for something, or the Universe wouldn't have provided me with this opportunity. But, preparation for what?

I know I'm moving out of my comfort zones, or being pushed out.

I do sense change is in the air…I’m just not sure which way the wind is blowing.