Thanksgiving 2017

I last wrote a Thanksgiving post in 2015.

So here is a new one.

I am indeed grateful for the "traditional" things most of us say we are grateful for; home, health, job. Oops, maybe not that last one, but I am grateful for the career I had for over 34 years.

And I'm grateful for the retirement benefits I am now enjoying; the leisure, the lack of deadlines, the reduced job-related stress, and the freedom to do what I want when I want if I even want to do anything at all.

As I go through this journey of life I have met some wonderful people. I am grateful for the lessons they have taught me. I am also grateful for the ones who try to understand this difficult journey I'm on even when there are moments I don't understand it myself.

I have also met some less-than-wonderful people and am also grateful for those lessons.

The last couple of years have been a roller coaster of emotions.

The contemplation of retirement, the ending of a relationship-which doesn't feel like it's over, the improvements to my house, the solitude plus the tranquility, the ups and downs of this new part of my journey all have been part of these last couple of years.

Someone trying to get a drink from the fountain

For the most part, I have felt very positive about these changes; except maybe the relationship. Retirement has brought a new sense of freedom as I mentioned above. I will take it one day at a time. The solar panels have brought some financial blessings. The drought-tolerant garden has been a mixed blessing as some plants didn't make it and need to be replaced, while the rest have overtaken some and need to be trimmed back.

The solitude and accompanying tranquility have also been a mixed blessing. As I sit in my home in the mornings, I enjoy the quiet. I have a bird feeder outside my living room window where I can watch the sparrows, finches, and doves feed. I have added a tabletop feeder to my patio table so when I'm in my dining room I can see them feed there. I'd noticed some jays showing up, so now I include raw peanuts for them. I've purchased two water features, one for the patio and one for the entryway. They run on timers and start early in the morning and shut off at night. There are times I don't want to leave my house for the peace and quiet.

As for the relationship, it has been difficult to get over, because I don't feel it is. Due to our extremely deep connection, it may never be, at least in a non-traditional sense. But, I am grateful for it as it has propelled me into a deeper sense of self than I had before.

I also am grateful for the synchronicities that are shown to me; the recurring numbers I keep seeing as it is these messages that tell me I am on the right path for what will be my greater good; and the other signs that tell me the relationship has played, and will continue to play, an extremely vital role in my journey, whether he and I eventually reunite or not.

One of the visiting scrub jays

The entryway fountain

I look at these challenges as gifts, even if they are sometimes difficult to open because one day I'll get through the hard ones and become much more at peace. But this is my journey at this time.

For which I'm grateful.