Blessed Technology

I'm taking a detour with this post and ranting about something that has been bothering, perplexing and just confounding me. 

And really beginning to piss me off.

Technology. And even more of its accursedness...since I've already discussed how I and many others believe it is causing a breakdown in communication.

Don’t get me wrong, I do see some benefits to technology. When I was teaching, I subscribed to an online planbook where I could plan lessons comfortably at home in my pajamas with an adult beverage, or two; then access them at school on my district-issued laptop. And since all my teacher editions were now web-based, I didn’t have any heavy teacher editions to lug home. Without technology, I wouldn’t have the benefit of sharing my journey. Without technology, we wouldn’t have x-ray machines telling me there is nothing wrong with my chronically aching, pain-filled shoulders. So, the pain must be in my head, then. Or, maybe it is in the soft tissues, necessitating an MRI, another technological marvel.

A few times in the past month, I was doing some online shopping due to an influx of store-specific gift cards. I found some items that I might like and would work for me, so I checked online for the local stores’ inventory. Each time it showed the item I wanted was in stock, I would drive to the store to preview it, as I prefer to see it in person first, rather than purchase it, wait for it to arrive, find out it isn't quite what I thought, then go through the hassle of returning it and either getting a new gift card or reloading the original one. Each time I arrived, there was no such stock. Finally, I asked a clerk to help me.

Clerk, checking his handheld device: “I'm sorry, the store inventory shows we are sold out."

Me: "Really? But my phone says you have several in stock. See, here's the website."

Clerk: “The website is updated every 24-48 hours.

Me, in my head: WTF? Seriously? We can send a remote-controlled vehicle into outer space, land it on a dusty planet, have it take and send back selfies, yet we can’t update store inventory at a moment’s notice?

The clerk is sympathetic to my frustration and asks, however gingerly, “Sir, may I make a suggestion?”

“Yes,” I say, realizing the clerk is sincerely trying to help and is totally innocent of all the techno-lying I have just been subjected to. Plus, I’m sure he wants to avoid a customer meltdown. “Please.”

“If I may suggest, reserve the item online before coming in. The website will simply check the store’s inventory, but only if you reserve it online, first.”

“But, won’t I have to enter my charge card, and purchase it; then, we'd have to go through the hassle of returning it if I changed my mind?"

“Not to simply reserve it, that way you can see it in person, first. And if we don’t have it, we can’t reserve it. And then you wouldn’t have wasted a trip."

“Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” 

A few times also, I have needed a special ingredient for a recipe I wanted to try. In one case the recipe suggested a very specific product (dark chocolate peanut butter) and actually listed the name of the company, so I go to the website to search for the closest store that sells and (hopefully) has it in stock. The website asks if it may use my current location, I answer in the affirmative, and the response comes back, “Based on your IP address the store nearest to you is in….Hoboken, NJ.” 

WTF? That’s approximately 2,799 miles away from me!

Another website for a different product suggested a store somewhere else on the east coast. Yeah, right. 

I thought both were a just bit far, so I finally found the “Search by Zip Code” box and that turned up stores much closer. (Note to self: always search by zip code.)

Yet, I was wondering why my IP address was suggesting stores on the east coast of the US? I checked with an IP address tracker and that turned out to be much more accurate. It showed I was only 10 miles away from myself. I guess I’ll never know where I truly am solely based on my IP address.

I marvel at technology. I do. But, will I ever find out what’s wrong with my shoulders? Perhaps it’s actually metaphysical. Or worse, the age factor.

Sometimes technology is a marvel; Saturn has some beautiful rings around it, and Mars seems lovely. After all, I’ve seen the pictures. It’s almost like I’ve been there. I also enjoy tracking packages when I order something. When I ordered curtains for my bedroom, I placed the order with a company in New York. The package originated somewhere in India, was transferred to New Delhi and then went on to Frankfurt, Germany, eventually clearing US Customs in New York City. Finally, the package arrived at my home, where I promptly hung them. Later, I was tracking another package when I discovered that FedEx labeled it 'damaged and undeliverable' and I was prompted to contact the merchant who quickly replaced the order. Yes, technology can be a blessing.

At other times, it’s enough to make anyone throw in the towel, find a quaint little cabin by a meadow stream where the otters play and the deer feed off the grasses, where I can sit and hold an actual book in my hands and read by the firelight, just like Abraham Lincoln did.

Interested in dark chocolate peanut butter? Click here