Monday, June 6, 2016

Moving forward

Letting go and moving on is hard.

Especially when the love is still there.

And especially when the connection is was extremely deep.

And even more so when he still haunts you, because you focus on why you should be together instead of why you aren't.

And when guys you meet just don't come up to the standard he has now set which, admittedly, will be nearly impossible to surpass.

Nor do they touch my soul the way he did.

Pathway, Franklin Canyon
I guess I just need to try harder to focus on the last thing he said to me, "I'm just not ready."

Which leaves me in limbo, because he may never be ready for a relationship with me. Or if he ever decides he is ready, will he have the courage to find me?

And will I then have the courage to trust him?

I could just allow life and time to take their course and see what happens.

And as long as I'm true to myself, I see no harm in that.

In fact, I see it as healthy.

But, I also struggle with the other question: if no one meets the very high standard he has now set, will I be settling for someone just to be with someone? Yes, I know each relationship is different, because each person is different, and each set of people interacts differently based on numerous factors; age, past histories, upbringing, self-image, ethnicity, national origin- and the list goes on.

But, as a human, it's only natural to question and wonder.

And if I move on, and if I meet someone, and if I start something, and then he comes back, what then?

I'll just have to cross that bridge...if I get to it.

Bridge, Sepulveda Wildlife Refuge

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