Déjà Vu

So, here I am again at the beginning of a school year in an emotional turmoil.  I began the 2010-2011 school year getting used to the idea my husband wanted a divorce and I would be alone for a while.

I am beginning the 2011-2012 school year getting over what I was beginning to think might be a potential relationship with a wonderful man.

So, I am essentially in the same place I was a year ago.

But am I?

Yes, and no.

Yes, I am disappointed and hurt.  Disappointed and hurt that what I thought could be a deep, new relationship with a great guy did not turn out the way I was hoping. And I'm working to let go of some some very deep feelings, deeper than I have felt in a very long time.

And no, I am a stronger person today for having survived the year between when my ex announced he wanted out and now when the new man told me he didn't love me, but just as a friend. And I will continue to grow stronger while on my journey.

Yes, it will take me some time to move on from this newest heartache.

No, I'm not escaping, but hibernating, recuperating, regenerating.

Yes, I'm tired of hearing all the cliches, "Time heals all wounds", "Everything happens for a reason at the time it's supposed to", "You'll get through this one, too."

 No, I'm not really, because as tired as they are,  they are indeed true. Time will heal this wound; it happened at this time for a reason, and I'll get through this. And move on. Again.

And yet, it feels different. Different in that I hadn't checked out of the relationship like I had my marriage; different in that I was caught off guard by my feelings for him; different in that it was at the beginning stages; different in that it was new for me.

So, the bear must hibernate a while; the sparrow will continue to sing his song; the dolphin will navigate the worlds between head and heart, work and play; and the phoenix will gather strength, for life will move onwards and upwards. Eventually.

And the ferret will be alert for a sign from the Universe......