Sunday, September 18, 2011


I have a new addiction. Mahjong Towers. The object is to clear the board of all the tiles. Sounds easy, doesn't it? It isn't. A tile may be removed if it can move laterally to either the left or the right and if nothing rests on it. And the matching tile must also be able to be removed. In the diagram above, there are only two pairs of tiles that can be removed; the two lavender tiles with the two dots on the top layer in the lower part of the tower towards the center of the picture, and the two yellow ones with the pink flower in the upper left, (they're not in the top layer). 

I have learned a lot about life from Mahjong Towers. First, life is not a game. Duh. But, some people think so. They take risks like drinking and driving, driving and texting, etc. Life is an adventure like parasailing, or an Andean trek.

With Mahjong Towers, if I make a mistake there is an undo button. It may cost me points, but hey it's only a game, right? And if I get stuck, there are two shuffle buttons that will shuffle remaining tiles. And if I get to a point where there are no more matches, I get to start over, or undo up to a point where I think I may have made a mistake. Plus, if there are matches and I can't see them there is a button for that, too.

Life has no buttons, it merely goes on.

When my first partner died, I so wanted a pause button. I wanted Life to wait for me. But, I looked and looked and couldn't find it. But I also learned to go on.

My now ex-husband came along soon after. I won't go into details as I was recently chided for referring to him in too many posts, but it's my blog and I'll write about him if I want to. Get your own blog. After all, it is about my growth since the divorce, so wouldn't it make sense he'd appear here? And when he left, I wanted a pause button, or maybe an undo button, so we could talk about it and maybe part amicably. But, again, there were no pause or undo buttons.

But, would I use an undo button? Sometimes I wonder. Maybe if I hurt someone's feelings, I might want to undo it. Then again, maybe the lesson is for them. Would I go back and undo anything else? A relationship? A trick?  Probably not, I have learned a lot from my relationships, and when I tricked as a young gay man, I remember what that felt like, the emptiness, the hollowness. I don't want to go back there. Well, maybe I'd be a bit more choosey. Choose a different career? No, for I love what I do, when I can do it my way.

Sometimes, in the game, there are three matching tiles and I have to choose between two of the three. And often one choice leads me further than another. Sometimes it makes no difference which choice I make, I either continue on to finish or end up stuck. For that, there's the restart button. And sometimes if I wait, make a different move, the fourth matching tile shows up and I don't have to choose between two of the three. In Life, we get choices, but unlike the game, the choice may make a difference to the outcome. Sometimes, I've learned when confronted with a choice, it can be better to wait and the decision is made for us, or the choice becomes clearer. Have I regretted any choices I've made? Well, other than having fun with someone I really didn't feel a connection with, no. But that was my lesson, be a little more selective.The real lesson here is when should I wait and when should I act?


  1. Only in certain circumstances, as the Universe sometimes plays by its rules, which may be different from mine.