Sunday, September 18, 2011
I have learned a lot about life from Mahjong Towers. First, life is not a game. Duh. But, some people think so. They take risks like drinking and driving, driving and texting, etc. Life is an adventure like parasailing, or an Andean trek.
With Mahjong Towers, if I make a mistake there is an undo button. It may cost me points, but hey it's only a game, right? And if I get stuck, there are two shuffle buttons that will shuffle remaining tiles. And if I get to a point where there are no more matches, I get to start over, or undo up to a point where I think I may have made a mistake. Plus, if there are matches and I can't see them there is a button for that, too.
Life has no buttons, it merely goes on.
When my first partner died, I so wanted a pause button. I wanted Life to wait for me. But, I looked and looked and couldn't find it. But I also learned to go on.
My now ex-husband came along soon after. I won't go into details as I was recently chided for referring to him in too many posts, but it's my blog and I'll write about him if I want to. Get your own blog. After all, it is about my growth since the divorce, so wouldn't it make sense he'd appear here? And when he left, I wanted a pause button, or maybe an undo button, so we could talk about it and maybe part amicably. But, again, there were no pause or undo buttons.
But, would I use an undo button? Sometimes I wonder. Maybe if I hurt someone's feelings, I might want to undo it. Then again, maybe the lesson is for them. Would I go back and undo anything else? A relationship? A trick? Probably not, I have learned a lot from my relationships, and when I tricked as a young gay man, I remember what that felt like, the emptiness, the hollowness. I don't want to go back there. Well, maybe I'd be a bit more choosey. Choose a different career? No, for I love what I do, when I can do it my way.
Sometimes, in the game, there are three matching tiles and I have to choose between two of the three. And often one choice leads me further than another. Sometimes it makes no difference which choice I make, I either continue on to finish or end up stuck. For that, there's the restart button. And sometimes if I wait, make a different move, the fourth matching tile shows up and I don't have to choose between two of the three. In Life, we get choices, but unlike the game, the choice may make a difference to the outcome. Sometimes, I've learned when confronted with a choice, it can be better to wait and the decision is made for us, or the choice becomes clearer. Have I regretted any choices I've made? Well, other than having fun with someone I really didn't feel a connection with, no. But that was my lesson, be a little more selective.The real lesson here is when should I wait and when should I act?