I find myself somewhat overwhelmed, maybe even disoriented, at the moment.
When I began opening up to a more spiritual path a few years ago, I started reading quite a bit on spiritual topics and joined a few spiritual discussion groups, to the point now where I am so confused I’m not sure what it means to be spiritual or what I believe any longer, except that I do believe in something; I'm just not sure how to define or describe it. I tend to just use the word “Universe.” Not in the sense of the vastness of the galaxy-type universe but in the sense of the energy that surrounds, fills and connects every member of the plant, animal and mineral kingdoms as well as the spiritual planes. And this confusion, doubt, questioning has been happening for the last couple of years. At least.
Recently, when I read my astrology report and saw that Saturn and Venus were causing some turmoil in my life, I also discovered that Uranus and Mercury were also. 
Uranus is the odd ball planet in the solar system. There’s at least one in every bunch, right? It’s the only planet named after a Greek god, not a Roman one. It’s the only planet whose rotation is perpendicular to its orbit. All the other planets, except Venus, rotate in an east to west direction and move forward in the same direction. Think of it like this: stand still, point to the east, now start turning counterclockwise while simultaneously walking eastward. Venus rotates clockwise while orbiting to the east like the rest of the planets. Uranus rotates in a west to east direction like Venus, but due to the unusual tilt of it, Uranus rotates on its side. It's like pivoting on your stomach while moving eastward. At least we’re all headed in the same direction. This also means Uranus doesn’t have a north or south pole, but east and west poles. Confusing, huh? I guess we can say Uranus is the maverick, the black sheep of the family. No wonder this is the modern ruling planet of Aquarius, the rebel, the free-thinker of the Zodiac.
Now Mercury is another story. Mercury was the messenger of the gods. He traveled to them to deliver messages and quickly so as not to anger them. Astrologically, Mercury is the planet that governs communication because of the messaging thing. It also covers thinking, learning, rationality and reasoning.
So, what are these two doing to mess with me? Currently, Uranus is at a right angle to the spot where Mercury was when I was born. Astrologically, this right angle relationship is called a square and is considered to be a challenging relationship or “aspect.” Yet, we often learn more from our challenges than the easier moments.
What does this aspect mean?
Well, if Mercury is the planet of rational thought and Uranus is the radical, the one who goes his own way, right there we see the clash. Rational vs. Radical Thought. Questioning all that I read or hear. Examining my own beliefs.
Yup, I’ve been questioning everything!
Except the pandemic. It’s hard to dispute facts. Though people try.
As an Aquarian, I do think outside the box. I see the larger picture for the greater good of humanity. But, I can be a bit analytical, too logical at times. So, when the facts are there, I embrace them wholeheartedly, even if they are a bit out there. It’s the logic behind them that I see. But, where I can’t find the logic is with all things religious or spiritual, it’s harder to buy into. Yet, I still feel called to this path even if there are no clear answers. Or logic.
Or consistency.
One person will express their opinion and another will post theirs which is either contradictory or just slightly different. I realize that within the religious and spiritual communities there are no “experts.” Otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many divisions within each religion. Take Christianity for example. First, we had the Catholics, then the Protestants later broke off during the Reformation and later the Mormons started their church. While I’m not fully aware of any divisions within the Catholic Church, the number of different divisions within the Protestant side of the coin boggles the mind; Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran and Baptist, to name a few. Even within those groups there are sub- and sub-sub- groups. I am aware of a couple of different branches from the Mormon tree.
Even Buddhism has its own different schools of thought as well, since various branches formed as Buddhism spread throughout Asia and then the world. Even those have changed over time.
Yoga and the Tarot, as well, have different schools thought. I know they’re not religions but this still fits my narrative.
I know I’ve been a bit vague here; let me try and explain where this affects me a bit further. I’ve been intrigued by the chakra system and working with life’s energies. Even here, there are a few beliefs over exactly how many chakras there are.
According to the ancient beliefs of India, the chakras are energy centers located along the spine running from the base to the top of the head. It is believed that if our energy is flowing smoothly through the chakras then all is well. It is also believed that should the chakras become blocked or overactive then we’d be out of balance and either under- or over-productive. Most agree there are seven main chakras along the spine and few suggest one or two above the crown of the head and one below the feet. Some even suggest there are a few minor ones located around the body, as in the palms of the hands and soles of the feet.
Lately, I’ve been hearing the term Age of Aquarius being bandied about. Yet, I recall hearing something about it back in the late 1960’s after the production of the musical Hair.
Hair tells the story of a tribe of young adults fully engulfed in the hippie counterculture of the time and fighting their conservative parents and society over things like conscription, the Vietnam War, sexuality, illicit drugs and hair. The depiction of these topics in the musical caused a lot of controversy. As did the use of rock music in a Broadway musical. Sacrilege!
The musical opens with the song, Aquarius, and the line This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.
So, if 1968 was the dawning of the Age of Aquarius back then, how can it be dawning now? Has it dawned and set? Is it dawning again? What exactly is the Age of Aquarius?
According to the songwriters, it is a period of:
Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the mind's true liberation
Astrologers can’t even agree on when it is (or was) so maybe the songwriters took license with the opening lines:
When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
James Rado / Gerome Ragni / Galt Mac Dermot
Aquarius / Let the Sunshine In (The Flesh Failures) lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
According to astrologers, the moon is in the seventh house for a short two hour period every day, and Jupiter aligns with Mars multiple times a year since astrologers have a few different ways of defining alignment; conjunction, opposition, and square to name a few.
The ideals of the Age of Aquarius (according to the song at least) seemed to fit in with the hippie counterculture, and the civil rights, Women’s Lib, and gay rights movements of the times. Yet, it didn’t seem to stick, did it? We are still fighting for civil rights for non-white minorities, women still don’t get equal pay for equal work, and LGBTQ people are still being fired or killed for their identity.
With so many different opinions/schools of thought in the various areas of my life; which Tarot school is right, how does one know exactly how many chakras there are, and exactly what is the Age of Aquarius and when it was/is/will be, what does one believe? Where does one put their faith? Their trust? Their hope? And these are not the only areas I'm questioning, but I didn't want to write a doctoral thesis on my confusion.
My belief is that it has to be in the Self.
And then emotionally detach from those who believe otherwise for they, too, are operating with what resonates with them.
Detachment is never easy.
Therein lie my struggles.
So, when Uranus and Mercury finally move on from each other in April 2021, maybe then I’ll move into a better place.
Perhaps, I'll achieve my own harmony and understanding.
