Strange Memories

Sometimes we recall the strangest things.

And to what end?

I awoke the other day to a memory of a few years ago. Okay, a great many years ago. I was five years old.

I had learned to spell the word ‘candy’ and ran to tell my mother.

“Mom, I can spell ‘candy’,” I cried. “C-N-D-Y!” I shouted.

“Very good, honey!” Mom said. I was elated, I had spelled my first word! Oh, I was jumping for joy! I ran around the apartment spelling it over and over, “C-N-D-Y!, C-N-D-Y!, C-N-D-Y!, C-N-D-Y!, C-N-D-Y!, C-N-D-Y!, C-N-D-Y!”

I couldn’t wait to get to school and tell my teacher. I was in kindergarten at the time.

“I can spell ‘candy’,” I said. 

“Oh?” she asked.

“C-N-D-Y!” I said, my chest filled with pride, my face beaming.

“You forgot the ‘A’,” she replied and returned to her task at hand.

My chest deflated, I was crushed. 

Words hurt. 

As a teacher, I know words hurt and I always tried to find encouraging ways to support my students in their learning and eventual mistakes, making sure to reward their effort as well as delicately guiding them to figure out their own error.

Yet, I also ask myself why did my subconscious bring this particular memory forward at this time? Perhaps for some unknown reason in the future. A future reminder, if that is possible. A reminder to mind my words in conversations? Perhaps, and always good advice.

On or around the same time, I recalled a student from a while back and a particular event involving her. 

She did not stand out in either direction, meaning she wasn't a discipline problem or a gifted student. In fact, I had not remembered her from that particular class even though I had taught many of them, including her, two years in a row in fourth and fifth grades and loved every minute with them. But, she was one of the nondescript ones.

The event involving her was the annual fifth grade physical fitness exam. Normally we would use our own school yard for the one mile run/walk but as it was under construction, we had to use the neighboring high school's track. Permission slips in hand, we trekked up to the high school. 

She was a large girl, both tall and a bit on the heavy side. She was very quiet, hardly saying anything in class and when she did, I had to strain to hear. 

We began the run in two groups making it easier for me to keep track of the times they crossed the finish line. She was in the second group. And the very last to finish as she chose to walk all the way. We encouraged her to run, but she continued to walk and not very briskly.

Why this memory came forth one particular morning, I may never know. But, the most intriguing connection was that, while doing some deep cleaning, I found some old CDs with pictures on them from her class. That. Same. Day. 

An odd coincidence or another one of my synchronicities? Personally, I lean to the latter as I believe I am connecting with my own higher self/consciousness which is connected to the higher consciousness of all. And these synchronicities are just a reminder to me that I am connecting.

I don't know. But it sounds good.

Besides, it resonates with me, and that's all that matters.