The Swords of February

New Palladini Tarot

When I did my reading for the New Year, I drew the Eight of Swords Reversed for February. Now that it's March, it's time to check in, albeit it a bit late.

When we look at the Eight of Swords upright, we see a figure wearing a blindfold with her arms bound to her sides. She is almost completely surrounded by eight swords. The blindfold obviously suggests she can't see and the bindings on her arms suggest restrictions and a lack of balance as we need our arms as a counterbalance when we walk. The swords around her suggest she is trying to move forward, yet blinded and somewhat out of balance. A tricky path indeed. How will she see what's in front of her? How will she catch herself should she stumble? Is it any wonder why so many readers see this card as a message of being stuck or restricted?

Swords is the suit of the mind; thoughts, truth, communication, and ideas are all associated with this suit. Therefore, this figure is stuck by her own thinking, ideas or perceptions. 

A reversed card in a reading could suggest the opposite of the card's basic meaning. Therefore, this card reversed could suggest a letting go of the restrictions, a freeing of the self, if you will. Or more simply put, getting unstuck. 

Radiant Rider-Waite-Smith
Tarot

As I contemplated the card at the beginning of the month and where I was then, I had a feeling the ideas, or thoughts, that were restricting me had to do with my spiritual growth and self-acceptance.

I may be mistaken. Or, maybe I just underestimated what the card may have suggested.

I have been feeling high anxiety of late. I've tried to focus on what is triggering me and what I can do to overcome it. I think I'm beginning to remove the blindfold.

I reconnected with someone very dear to me and I do believe we have a destiny together. We just hit our six month mark since reconnecting after a two and a half year separation. We have grown tremendously, both during the separation and since reconnecting. We have also grown individually and together.

And that is where some of the anxiety is coming from. This is becoming real. I've lived alone for almost nine years since the divorce with the exception of the disastrous short term roommate experiment. Should he and I take this relationship to that level, (I'm already overthinking, I admit it. It's those damn swords.) I'd have to make a few adjustments. But, I'm getting ahead of myself, way ahead of myself. Overthinking is part of my Aquarian/Libra nature. Or is it my charm? I forget. At least I now know what I need to work on to continue getting myself un-stuck. But, overcoming overthinking is not an easy task. 

But, I have also noticed I've let go of a lot. I have a deep seated fear of abandonment from my childhood and the constant moving we did. I'm learning to let go of that fear as we continue on our journey. I've also let go of expectations; of him, of me and of the relationship in general. After all, expectations are nothing but a planned disappointment.

While I first thought I knew the card referred to letting go of the restrictions or judgements I felt around accepting my spiritual gifts, which is still an underlying factor, now I feel this card seems to have also referenced some emotional baggage I've been carrying. I do feel some anxiety over getting closer with this man, which is only natural in any case. Since I've now identified where some of the anxiety is coming from, I can start removing the bindings to move forward more freely, even if I take baby steps. And since anxiety begins in the mind, the swords are very apropos here. All eight of them.

Does this mean I misinterpreted the card? Not really. I did have one idea of what the card was telling me, albeit superficially. I was already aware that I was unsure of this new spiritual direction and where it might take me and perhaps not trusting it, or myself, enough. Often, there are deeper, less superficial triggers to our anxieties, or any situation, and the Tarot can simply bring them to the surface for us to see. And therefore heal.

Or perhaps the message of the card was simply about my increasing awareness that my own thoughts, insecurities and deeper fears, whatever they may be-superficial or subterranean, are what holds me back; the more I become aware of them, the more I can remove the blindfold and bindings. And take baby steps forward. Which is still progress.

On to March and the Hanged Man.