Swords, Reflections and Mulan

The legendary sword, Excalibur, revealed the one true king destined to rule Camelot.

There is a scene in Disney’s animated movie Mulan where she glimpses her reflection in her father’s sword. Earlier in the movie, she begins to question who she truly is and whether she can live up to what is expected of her.

Well, we made it into January, and that means a new month. And yes, a new year, too. But, that also means I need to check in with my card for December and maybe even review the year as a whole. I’m not sure I want to do that last part.

My card for December was the Ace of Swords Reversed. As I’ve said for the last couple of months, Swords is the suit of the mind and that covers whatever goes on upstairs; thoughts, reasoning, clarity, understanding, communication, yada yada yada.

Aces offer an opportunity to seize the energy of the suit and proceed forward. I think of it like this; if I’m at a party and a server walks by with a tray of appetizers or I see a tray of them on a table, it’s up to me to decide if I want to take it or not. The Ace of Swords represents an opportunity for me to seek clarity and understanding or to expand my mind. As this is a reading for me, it could be an opportunity to understand myself a bit better. I mean the energy is there whether I seize it or not. It could even be thrust upon me.

Yet, this card is reversed. I read single cards as energy directed more inward, towards the seeker, in this case-me. So, yes, this month brought me some clarity about myself. As Swords can be, and often are, a bit pointy, some of the truths were a bit difficult to face. Others offered clarity.

Ace of Swords, Bianco Nero Tarot
Marco Proietto (c) 2018, US Games

Through this pandemic, I connected a bit more with my neighbors. I’ve always had a good relationship with the family across from me and a more congenial one with the family next to me to the north side. My neighbors on the south side would wave but we weren’t that communicative and no problems truly arose between us. However, I did have to have some work done on my ficus tree which hangs over the fence into their yard. I alerted them to the date the work would be done and asked if they could leave their gate unlocked so the crew could clean up after they were finished. The woman who answered the door was agreeable to the idea and appreciative of my letting her know. A few weeks later, she approached me and asked to exchange telephone numbers and suggested we could contact each other should there be a need. I’d already done this with the other two families.

Thanksgiving arrived and my neighbors to the north very kindly asked me if I’d like a plate of food. I thanked them and said I’d already eaten. They made the same offer over Christmas Eve and Day, making sure they asked early enough to bring it over. They felt badly I had no one to celebrate with.

My mother expressed concern over my being alone here in Los Angeles facing the worst yet of this pandemic. We are now in the stages where Europe and New York were at the beginning of the pandemic. Patients are being treated in gift shops, hallways, and other locations around the hospitals.

Both my neighbors and my mother made references to me being alone. I don’t feel alone, I feel self-reliant. Does that mean I won’t ask for help if needed? No, I’ll ask. It does mean I can depend on my neighbors. And they on me. I am very appreciative of their concern.

But, what about the public at large? Can I depend on them? Trust them? 

When I was first single, I remember asking a gay friend of mine about dating and protocols regarding safe sex. After all, I’d been off the dating market for nearly 16 years while married. I asked, “What if the guy says he’s HIV negative?” My friend’s answer; “Use condoms anyway.” “So, I should assume he’s not telling me the truth?” He had no reply. That said a lot. That began a serious trust issue I have around dating.

That trust issue has been amplified with this pandemic. We are only as safe as our ‘bubble’ or ‘pod’, as I’ve heard it called. This is the circle of family and friends we associate with. We just don’t know where they’ve been, who else enters their bubble or who they may have come in contact with, therefore increasing the potential of exposing others. Can we take just their word?

A very diligent family here in Los Angeles did come down with the virus. They practiced all the protocols; masking when out, one person did the shopping, hardly left their house, took neighborhood walks, sanitized everything, and washed their hands frequently. Yet, they still contracted the virus. The contact tracing revealed that their teenage son went out for a walk alone, snuck over to his girlfriend’s less-diligent house and apparently brought it home to his own family. 

I find myself having trust issues with others. I don’t know who else is entering others’ bubbles. Not everyone is as diligent as I am. I also don’t understand how people can eat at restaurants, even outdoors. Social distancing is suggested to be six feet apart allowing for a potential cross breeze. Yet, most outdoor tables I’ve seen aren’t six feet across nor six feet apart. Several outdoor dining areas I’ve seen have put up tarps around the sides of their dining area. This has now prevented any chance of a cross-breeze to catch any viral particles. I recall seeing a picture of a restaurant in Amsterdam which erected mini-greenhouses, fitting them with tables and chairs. This allowed for some diners to enjoy their meal “outside” while protected from other diners. The privacy and intimacy of the concept is great, especially since they are by the water. Yet, you’d best hope your companion isn’t a- or pre-symptomatic. 

Yes, I sound paranoid. I admit it. Perhaps this is one of the more painful truths the Ace of Swords revealed to me.

But, what actually is the difference between being diligent and paranoid?

I don’t want to get sick nor potentially infect anyone else. I have hypertension which is an underlying factor possibly making the disease and recovery worse for me. Plus, I don’t want to add to the stress and strain of our broken and beleaguered healthcare system. While putting others (especially, our medical personnel) first, I am also managing my health.

Another painful realization that came home is that I have become so accustomed to my solitude (even my pre-pandemic solitude) that the very idea of being around someone for more than a few hours begins to trigger my anxiety. This will complicate any potential relationship.

I have also discovered I am someone who has a hard time with people who don’t see or believe what I do. I covered this point in a previous post. I see things for the greater good of all and so should everyone else. After all, we are all on this planet together.

As Mulan saw herself in her father’s sword, the Ace of Swords Reversed allowed me a glimpse into myself. I am someone who:

• Has a good heart;

• Has trust issues around dating;

• Has trust issues around people who don’t see things for the greater good of all;

• Has difficulty expressing his opinions and accepting others’ differing ones;

• Has difficulty letting his independence down enough to possibly let someone in.

In her song “Reflections”, Mulan wonders when her reflection-which she first sees in a trough of water and later in some shiny gravestones before seeing it in the sword-will reflect who she is deep inside.

As I’ve been exploring a more spiritual path and discovering some intuitive abilities/gifts, I am also wondering when will my reflection show me who I am deep inside so I can learn to trust and better accept that aspect of myself? And eventually, myself as a whole?

I may not fully identify with her song; I mean, I’m not trying to be the perfect bride nor daughter, but the essence of the song resonates very deeply with me.

What part in this world am I meant to play? I may not play the role my family expected; I’m sure they didn’t anticipate my coming out as gay, nor developing a stronger sense of intuition, let alone reading tarot cards. If I were truly to be myself, I may not break their hearts, but will they understand? And why am I coming into this aspect of my life at my age?

One last thing about the suit of Swords. As they represent mental activity, they can also suggest overthinking. Since the last three cards of this year’s reading were all Swords, I plead guilty.

Let’s hope my reading for 2021 is better and the year is better, too.

I’ve already pulled the cards for next year. It feels good...Stay tuned.

Four More Swords

We're in the home stretch of this tumultuous year which also means I'm checking in with my penultimate card in my reading for this year.

November's card was the Four of Swords.

Swords is the suit of the mind and covers our thoughts, ideas, clarity, learning, communication, etc. Basically, it represents anything that goes on up in our head. When an abundance of Swords cards show up in a reading, my first reaction is that there is a lot of mental activity going on and most likely, overthinking or that some truths will be revealed. Needless to say, it is not the best suit to show up en masse. But, while it may carry some negative and difficult energies, every cloud has a silver lining, every storm shall pass, and all the rest of the growth-from-adversity cliches you can think of.

So, while the suit itself can be difficult, not every individual card is. I view the Four as one of the nicer cards in the suit.

We see a man in armor in repose. Admittedly, it looks like it may be an effigy, but most descriptions of the card state it is not. He is merely resting, albeit in an apparent mausoleum as suggested by the stained glass window. Tarot card meanings build from the preceding card and lead into the following one. The Three of Swords shows a heart pierced by three swords and the Five shows someone holding three swords and two more lying on the ground. Two figures are walking away, seemingly defeated. The main character appears to be smirking or gloating.

The Three of Swords depicts emotional pain; I mean what other meaning could it be with a heart pierced by three swords, pouring rain and some very dark clouds? The Five suggests a situation with a winner and loser; apparently after a confrontation of some kind. The main character's expression suggests he won, most likely underhandedly. With the Four coming between the two, it suggests resting after the storm to gather strength for the upcoming confrontation. The battle may be over, but not the war. Aside from the possible morbidity of resting in a mausoleum, what more quiet place could one find in order to gather some thoughts before the next battle? Perhaps withdrawing within oneself would be an alternative.

Sometimes a card will appear in order to suggest what the seeker should do-some advice, if you will; use the energy of the card as a way to navigate the situation at hand.

And I think I should have done that instead of thinking this would be a calming, restful month.

With the Four of Swords' energy and the High Priestess as the central card and energy of the whole year, that's what I should have done. Instead, I did quite the opposite. My mind went into overdrive. I was overanalyzing quite a lot.

I found myself overanalyzing the direction of my life. Where is it headed? It seemed to be heading in a direction prior to the pandemic. Can it, or even should it, head in the same direction post-pandemic, whenever we emerge from it? Should I change directions? 

I was thinking of my finances which have turned a corner in a more positive direction and how I can maintain that positive momentum.

I found myself looking at my connections to others in light of differences of opinions on both the political climate and pandemic situation.

It was this last point that really hit home. I think I've covered that in a couple of recent posts. Yet, as the situation gets worse, I can't seem to shake it.

I still found myself to be somewhat judgmental of those who don't see the pandemic as seriously as I do-especially government officials who think it's' not their job to enforce a public health emergency. I am doing my best to help keep myself and others healthy in order to not overwhelm the hospitals or further exhaust our doctors, nurses and other medical personnel, and straining our beleaguered healthcare system, as fucked up as it already is, pushing it to its breaking point. And if I'm doing my best, why isn't everyone else? Do they not even care about others? And if they aren't seeing what I am seeing, doing what I am doing, and reading what I am reading (from epidemiologists and virologists, no less-not only the mainstream media) then they are rejecting me.

Yes, I went there.

And from there I went into my own personal mausoleum and withdrew even further from society. How much further can one go when one can't leave one's own house except for essential needs? One withdraws more from social media, I guess.

I just couldn't take all the negativity.  

Yes, I know we all need to make a living. But, let's not get so caught up in making a living that we forget to have a life even given the difficulties that we're experiencing now.

I understand one other thing as well. We all want and need a healthy economy. I agree. It would be great. But, economies do recover. Eventually. In time. Too slow for some, I know. Yes, we live in an age of instant gratification. And we don't like change. But, we did eventually recover from the Great Depression and the Great Recession. Both times. Even if it did take years.

But, what if there are not enough healthy producers making or providing enough goods or services? What if there were no consumers healthy enough to spend money? How much longer will it take for the economy to recover?? Seriously.

A healthy economy ultimately depends on a healthy population for both the supply and demand.

Period.

So, maybe the Four of Swords was suggesting I take a break from social media to gather and analyze my thoughts so I can then let them go. Hanging on to this judgmental attitude isn't healthy, mentally or physically.

December should be interesting.

The Ace of Swords...reversed.

All card images are taken from the Radiant Rider Waite Smith Tarot, (C) 2015, US Games, Inc.

Uranus, Mercury, Chakras and Hair

I find myself somewhat overwhelmed, maybe even disoriented, at the moment. 

When I began opening up to a more spiritual path a few years ago, I started reading quite a bit on spiritual topics and joined a few spiritual discussion groups, to the point now where I am so confused I’m not sure what it means to be spiritual or what I believe any longer, except that I do believe in something; I'm just not sure how to define or describe it. I tend to just use the word “Universe.” Not in the sense of the vastness of the galaxy-type universe but in the sense of the energy that surrounds, fills and connects every member of the plant, animal and mineral kingdoms as well as the spiritual planes. And this confusion, doubt, questioning has been happening for the last couple of years. At least. 

Recently, when I read my astrology report and saw that Saturn and Venus were causing some turmoil in my life, I also discovered that Uranus and Mercury were also. 

Uranus is the odd ball planet in the solar system. There’s at least one in every bunch, right? It’s the only planet named after a Greek god, not a Roman one. It’s the only planet whose rotation is perpendicular to its orbit. All the other planets, except Venus, rotate in an east to west direction and move forward in the same direction. Think of it like this: stand still, point to the east, now start turning counterclockwise while simultaneously walking eastward. Venus rotates clockwise while orbiting to the east like the rest of the planets. Uranus rotates in a west to east direction like Venus, but due to the unusual tilt of it, Uranus rotates on its side. It's like pivoting on your stomach while moving eastward. At least we’re all headed in the same direction. This also means Uranus doesn’t have a north or south pole, but east and west poles. Confusing, huh? I guess we can say Uranus is the maverick, the black sheep of the family. No wonder this is the modern ruling planet of Aquarius, the rebel, the free-thinker of the Zodiac. 

Now Mercury is another story. Mercury was the messenger of the gods. He traveled to them to deliver messages and quickly so as not to anger them. Astrologically, Mercury is the planet that governs communication because of the messaging thing. It also covers thinking, learning, rationality and reasoning. 

So, what are these two doing to mess with me? Currently, Uranus is at a right angle to the spot where Mercury was when I was born. Astrologically, this right angle relationship is called a square and is considered to be a challenging relationship or “aspect.” Yet, we often learn more from our challenges than the easier moments. 

What does this aspect mean? 

Well, if Mercury is the planet of rational thought and Uranus is the radical, the one who goes his own way, right there we see the clash. Rational vs. Radical Thought. Questioning all that I read or hear. Examining my own beliefs. 

Yup, I’ve been questioning everything! 

Except the pandemic. It’s hard to dispute facts. Though people try. 

As an Aquarian, I do think outside the box. I see the larger picture for the greater good of humanity. But, I can be a bit analytical, too logical at times. So, when the facts are there, I embrace them wholeheartedly, even if they are a bit out there. It’s the logic behind them that I see. But, where I can’t find the logic is with all things religious or spiritual, it’s harder to buy into. Yet, I still feel called to this path even if there are no clear answers. Or logic. 

Or consistency. 

One person will express their opinion and another will post theirs which is either contradictory or just slightly different. I realize that within the religious and spiritual communities there are no “experts.” Otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many divisions within each religion. Take Christianity for example. First, we had the Catholics, then the Protestants later broke off during the Reformation and later the Mormons started their church. While I’m not fully aware of any divisions within the Catholic Church, the number of different divisions within the Protestant side of the coin boggles the mind; Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran and Baptist, to name a few. Even within those groups there are sub- and sub-sub- groups. I am aware of a couple of different branches from the Mormon tree. 

Even Buddhism has its own different schools of thought as well, since various branches formed as Buddhism spread throughout Asia and then the world. Even those have changed over time. 

Yoga and the Tarot, as well, have different schools thought. I know they’re not religions but this still fits my narrative. 

I know I’ve been a bit vague here; let me try and explain where this affects me a bit further. I’ve been intrigued by the chakra system and working with life’s energies. Even here, there are a few beliefs over exactly how many chakras there are.

According to the ancient beliefs of India, the chakras are energy centers located along the spine running from the base to the top of the head. It is believed that if our energy is flowing smoothly through the chakras then all is well. It is also believed that should the chakras become blocked or overactive then we’d be out of balance and either under- or over-productive. Most agree there are seven main chakras along the spine and few suggest one or two above the crown of the head and one below the feet. Some even suggest there are a few minor ones located around the body, as in the palms of the hands and soles of the feet. 

Lately, I’ve been hearing the term Age of Aquarius being bandied about. Yet, I recall hearing something about it back in the late 1960’s after the production of the musical Hair. 

Hair tells the story of a tribe of young adults fully engulfed in the hippie counterculture of the time and fighting their conservative parents and society over things like conscription, the Vietnam War, sexuality, illicit drugs and hair. The depiction of these topics in the musical caused a lot of controversy. As did the use of rock music in a Broadway musical. Sacrilege! 

The musical opens with the song, Aquarius, and the line This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

So, if 1968 was the dawning of the Age of Aquarius back then, how can it be dawning now? Has it dawned and set? Is it dawning again? What exactly is the Age of Aquarius?

According to the songwriters, it is a period of: 

Harmony and understanding 

Sympathy and trust abounding 

No more falsehoods or derisions 

Golden living dreams of visions 

Mystic crystal revelation 

And the mind's true liberation 

Astrologers can’t even agree on when it is (or was) so maybe the songwriters took license with the opening lines: 

When the moon is in the Seventh House 

And Jupiter aligns with Mars 

Then peace will guide the planets 

And love will steer the stars 

This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius 

James Rado / Gerome Ragni / Galt Mac Dermot 

Aquarius / Let the Sunshine In (The Flesh Failures) lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

According to astrologers, the moon is in the seventh house for a short two hour period every day, and Jupiter aligns with Mars multiple times a year since astrologers have a few different ways of defining alignment; conjunction, opposition, and square to name a few. 

The ideals of the Age of Aquarius (according to the song at least) seemed to fit in with the hippie counterculture, and the civil rights, Women’s Lib, and gay rights movements of the times. Yet, it didn’t seem to stick, did it? We are still fighting for civil rights for non-white minorities, women still don’t get equal pay for equal work, and LGBTQ people are still being fired or killed for their identity. 

With so many different opinions/schools of thought in the various areas of my life; which Tarot school is right, how does one know exactly how many chakras there are, and exactly what is the Age of Aquarius and when it was/is/will be, what does one believe? Where does one put their faith? Their trust? Their hope? And these are not the only areas I'm questioning, but I didn't want to write a doctoral thesis on my confusion.

My belief is that it has to be in the Self. 

And with whatever resonates with me. 

And then emotionally detach from those who believe otherwise for they, too, are operating with what resonates with them.

Detachment is never easy. 

Therein lie my struggles. 

So, when Uranus and Mercury finally move on from each other in April 2021, maybe then I’ll move into a better place.

Perhaps, I'll achieve my own harmony and understanding.

October's Queen

Radiant Rider Waite Smith Tarot

We’ve now moved into November, meaning 2020 is drawing nearer to a close. Plus, it means a new month which signals a check in with my New Year reading for October.

My card was the lovely Queen of Swords. Well, some people don’t think she’s that lovely. Swords is the suit of the mind and all that goes on up there. It’s also connected to Air energy and like the air itself, our mind is never completely still. Thoughts come and go like gentle breezes on a spring day or those powerful Santa Ana winds common to Southern California.

Even when we, or at least I, meditate thoughts will creep in and pull us away  from our meditation. Or try to, at least. But, I digress from Her Majesty.

As I mentioned in a previous post, she is the Queen of her Mind. Any kind of mental expansion falls under her domain. So, she rules thought, ideas, clarity, understanding and honesty. Where honesty falls, truth can’t be far behind and we all know that the truth can hurt.

Just like a sword.

Therefore both must be handled with care.

I believe the Queen of Swords is a bit better at it than her husband, the King. She, in my opinion and readings, can bring a bit of balance and a touch of feminine intuition or emotion into the situation to soften the sting, being a bit more diplomatic. Therefore, she would be a good counselor. Unless, she’s reversed.

Which she is here.

Bianco Nero Tarot, Marco Proietto
(c)2018 US Games

I read reversed single cards as energy directed inward to the seeker, in this case, that would be me. 

This indeed has been a rough month in terms of facing some deep inner truths about myself and the world at large, rougher than I had imagined. I previously covered some of this in my post on Saturn and Venus, only to discover that Uranus and Mercury are having another intense moment or year which could lead (and probably will) to another post.

I'm not sure if anyone is aware but we were having an election here in the United States. Watching myself react to the news and all the dis- and misinformation being spread around, both about the election and the Coronavirus, led me to seriously consider abandoning all social media (which I pretty much had anyway). Seeing and hearing of people blatantly disregard the protocols for managing the virus has caused me to seriously consider fully embracing my Hermit soul and withdraw even more from society. 

But, what would that truly accomplish?

Nothing more than a deepening distrust of people which had already been underway and somewhat underscored by Saturn and Venus.

And in reality isn’t very healthy.

But, I can only do what’s right for me, retreat when I need and explore when I feel like it.

I will continue my daily walks (weather permitting-which really isn’t a problem in Southern California.) I will continue with my morning meditations and Qi Gong practices with some occasional yoga thrown in.

These last months of 2020 will be challenging for me, at least on a mental level, as the last three cards are all Swords. Many people shudder when Swords appear as they are connected to our thoughts. We all know that thoughts can be dangerous as they can lead to overthinking which often causes us to create dramatic scenarios in our minds or leads us down paths we shouldn’t be following therefore creating anxiety or depression. I don’t feel all Swords cards are to be feared, in fact the truth shouldn’t be, as painful as it might be.

In fact the card for November is one of my favorite cards of the suit.

The Four.

Let’s see how this plays out. 

Radiant Rider Waite Smith Tarot

 

Me, My Shadow and the Hermit

A while back I wrote about the King of Swords, a card I use as a significator in a tarot reading. The energies/qualities of the King are very much aligned with the personality traits of Aquarius, my astrological sun sign. So, when he appears in a reading, I pay close attention to where he is and how he interacts with the other cards to see how it might affect me.

There’s another card in the deck I identify with, but in a different way; the Hermit.

Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot

When we think of a hermit, we usually picture an old man who lives alone on a mountainside somewhere isolated by choice from society and seeking inner wisdom. He sees beyond the trappings of society on both a material and spiritual level. Therefore, he is also sought out by others seeking his wisdom regarding the problems in their own lives.

When we look at the Hermit in the Rider-Waite-Smith deck-the “standard” deck by which other contemporary decks take their inspiration-we see an old man in gray robes with a staff and lantern walking along the top of a mountain. His is a simple card, uncluttered with other details, emphasizing his aloneness and simplicity of life. The staff helps him maintain balance and the lantern lights his way in the darkness while simultaneously lighting the way to him for anyone who seeks his guidance.

When I first began my tarot studies almost three years ago, I took a short six-week class from another reader. In the first session, we studied the Major Arcana, one of the two principal groups in the deck. The Hermit falls in this group. The King of Swords falls in the Minor Arcana, the other principal group of cards. It was during this class, I first encountered my connection to the Hermit.

Using a strategy from Mary K. Greer’s book, Who Are You in the Tarot?, (c)2011, Weiser Books, the instructor had us take our complete birthdate and add those numbers together. For example: 1958+02+11=1971. Then we added those individual digits; 1+9+7+1=18. If that sum was less than 23, we took the corresponding numbered card as our personality card which for me, is the Moon. We then added those digits to get a single digit number which would represent our soul card, in my case 1+8=9, the Hermit. So, the Hermit came to represent my soul.

Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot

(If the sum of the four digits was greater than or equal to 23, we just added both digits to get a single number, or if the four digit total equaled a single digit number, then the card in question represented both the personality and the soul of that individual.) 

But this is about me.

I felt the Hermit fit me on that deeper level; someone on a path of deep introspection, pulling away from society as he finds his values are somewhat different than the mainstream, someone seeking answers yet also willing to teach others.

Radiant Tarot

My second encounter with the Hermit was also on that same day. As we were studying just the Major Arcana that first session, the instructor had us take out only the Major cards from the deck, shuffle them and pull three to represent our life path. The first card I drew was the Hermit! I guess we’re linked now.

For the record, the second and third cards were the Wheel of Fortune and the High Priestess, suggesting that the path of the Hermit is part of my life’s destiny and I will find my Higher Self in the subconscious and assist others as well, like a High Priest(ess) would.

I recently read the book, Tarot for Troubled Times by Shaheen Miro and Theresa Reed, (c)2019, Weiser Books. While these are indeed troubling times, the intent of this book is to help people confront their Shadow self. The authors describe our Shadow as the place where we lock away our fears and insecurities, our monsters and our demons; where we feel lost, abandoned and confused. They also go on to say we are only capable of healing our past and overcoming those fears by confronting our Shadow head on. The purpose of this book was to learn to use the tarot as a means to that end.

Rider-Waite-Smith
Tarot

The authors recommend using the cards of the Major Arcana as archetypes to begin to confront our Shadow. Each Major Arcana card carries a message in its energy and using this energy and message can help assist anyone interested in facing their Shadow. Their suggested method of determining an archetype to begin working with was using the birthdate, which resulted in the Hermit for me. Quelle surprise! They go on to state we might not connect with the suggested archetype; therefore, we can choose any other archetype to work with if we choose, or even work with a couple at a time.

For every archetype, they offer specific ideas for working with each one; an affirmation, the positive aspects to strive for, the Shadow aspects to be aware of and confront, and suggested actions to take. For the Hermit, these are their suggestions:

• Affirmation:”I honor my need for introspection."
• Positive aspects: wise, in touch with inner wisdom, introspection;
• Shadow aspects: cannot be alone, out of touch with inner guidance, dependent on a guru, fearful of others, not learning from mistakes;
• Actions: Learn as much as possible about current events-seek knowledge, teach what you know.

I do see this as an appropriate archetype for me to work with in beginning to face my Shadow. I will say I love the affirmation and feel that I already embody some of the positive aspects of the Hermit. Yet, I see areas in my life where I could use some more inner guidance. I don’t see myself dependent on a guru nor am I fearful of others, at least not on a superficial level, some deeper fear of others might suggest another archetype to work with. Perhaps there are some mistakes I haven’t quite learned from, yet. I have never been much into politics as I feel it’s a personal choice and decision. Plus, I don’t argue discuss well. I think I addressed this in another post. Current events might be a bit easier, but again, with controversial topics, it becomes difficult. I try to employ a Buddhist teaching or two: what works for you, may not work for me and vice versa; and a non-attachment policy is hard to maintain. Especially when I believe I’m right and my views/opinions serve the greater good for all humanity and the planet and yours don't. Or, at least I don't see that they do. I guess I do have some work to do, though not all of the work I feel I need to do may fall under the archetype of the Hermit.

But, I feel he is a good place for me to start.

At the least, he could remind the King of Swords when to sheathe his Sword of Truth.

King of Swords,

Radiant Tarot

Saturn Conjunct Venus

As a teenager, I was interested in the odd, even that which bordered on the occult. The developing science around Extra Sensory Perception, or ESP, captured my attention. I devoured stories of the unusual, the odd, the bizarre. I’d studied a bit of astrology back then, but focused mainly on the meaning of the sun signs. I read Dracula by Bram Stoker and looooooved it. I was captivated by the '60s Gothic Soap Opera Dark Shadows and still enjoy it to this day. The old Universal Monster films were some of my favorites.

Yes, I was odd. 

With my current interest in the Tarot and the astrological connection with the cards, I’ve broadened my studies of astrology. While I have an understanding of the sun signs and a beginning understanding of the ascendant and moon signs, I’m just beginning to study the other components that make up the whole of astrology: charts, planets, houses, aspects and transits-both current and natal.

I wasn’t sure how all this could come together and what it could, or would, mean until I read a short astrological forecast report from Astro.com. I had input some basic data, then downloaded the report simply for the kicks and giggles of it. Or was it something else that prompted me to read it? 

(c)NASA

According to this report, Saturn is conjunct my natal Venus. Sounds kinky…but what does that mean? 

What this means is that Saturn, the planet, is currently crossing a point in the sky where Venus was at the moment of my birth.

But, let’s examine the energies of these two heavenly bodies before we get into what their entanglement means for me.

thoughtco.com

Venus, like the goddess, stands for all things relationship oriented; how we interact with others and approach love. She also likes the finer things in life and can be a bit materialistic, so she also looks over our money and our approach to it.

Saturn, the god, is believed to be the father of Jupiter, Neptune, Pluto, Juno, Ceres and Vesta. Like a father providing structure to his family, the planet Saturn is about restrictions, structure, constrictions and likes to remind us of our boundaries, limitations and commitments.

Mygodpictures.com 

These two will be dancing together through my life until January 2021. 

So what does this mean for me?

Well, since Saturn is about limitations, boundaries and structure and Venus is about relationships and money, I’ll be a bit more introspective and evaluating both areas. I’ll be reviewing those relationships in my life and reflecting on the limitations and boundaries within them I’ll need to strengthen. I should also be looking at structure in my relationships: what do I need from them? Do they meet my needs? Maybe any relationship no longer serving my greater good could even get the old heave-ho. In short, I’ll be facing some harsh realizations. Very harsh realizations about relationships and money.

(c)NASA

I find this very interesting as I’ve kind of been in this frame of mind already and looking at my connections to others and seeing who, if any, I should begin to weed out or attempt to strengthen my bond with by setting limitations and boundaries. What makes this even more intriguing to me is that these two planets first met up back in March of this year and that's about when I’d begun seriously looking at my finances and what extraneous spending needs to be whittled down. Just last month I began to refinance my mortgage which is giving me a fresh look at my budget and overall financial situation. Taking the intrigue factor one step further is the fact I hadn't even thought about refinancing until I had to take care of some other bank business and the Customer Service Representative noticed I had my mortgage with them and that current interest rates were lower than what I was already paying. One thing lead to another and the loan will be finalized this week.

The fact that I was already in this frame of mind when I read this report startled me. Is it more than a coincidence?? Or are the planetary energies truly influencing me?

And that was only the first paragraph of the report. I wonder what the other planets have in store for me?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Three Cheers for September

Rider Waite Smith Tarot

As we enter October, it's time to review last month's card which was the happy times of the Three of Cups.

And I must say I was a bit disappointed. But first, let’s look at the card.

Bianco Nero Tarot, Marco Proietto
(c)2018 US Games

The energy centers around three young women dressed in fine robes. In my head, they’re made of silk. But, I digress. The three are each raising a cup as in a toast or celebration. What those cups are filled with is anyone’s guess, but symbolically the suit of Cups is associated with water and our emotions, feelings, intuition and connections to others, i.e., relationships. Traditionally, this card is read as a celebration with friends, networking on a social level, gatherings, parties, friendships and happy times. 

Coming after the high energy of August's Queen of Wands, I was hoping for a continuation of that feeling and connecting or socializing more. But, if that didn’t happen, it isn’t the card’s fault. It’s mine. While my mood has been lighter lately, I certainly wouldn’t call it celebratory.

But, even with Covid restrictions in place here in Los Angeles, I did mingle more than I had been doing in the recent past. Just maybe not enough as I had hoped.

I returned to a group I felt I needed a hiatus from. It was nice seeing some friendly faces once again.

One of the hidden
staircases in Los Angeles

I stepped out for a self-guided themed walk with two other friends on a lovely early autumn day. The theme of this walk was hidden staircases in Los Angeles. Many of these hidden staircases were built when Los Angeles was connected more by streetcar and public transportation than miles of interstates and highways. These public staircases were necessary to help pedestrians get to and from their homes and the streetcar lines and were built as shortcuts from one level of a neighborhood to another in the hillier areas of the city. Often these staircases were built by the Public Works Administration in the 1930s and 40s. An additional aspect of this particular walk was a two block area of historic Victorian and Craftsman homes. One of the Victorians was even featured in a television show.

So, maybe the energy to do more was there in the cards, but maybe my energy was what was lacking. Or maybe it was just enough. It takes time to emerge from a cocoon during a transformation. Especially when one isn’t quite sure the transformation isn’t quite complete.

And yes, these last few years have felt like a transformation-stepping out of an old persona into a new one, shedding an outdated belief system for a different one. The images of a phoenix rising from the flames, a snake shedding its old skin or a caterpillar metamorphosing into a butterfly all come to mind.

Embarking on, or awakening to, a more spiritual path from a rather ordinary, regular one is not easy. I try to let go and let the Universe guide me. And trust in its guidance. I try very hard not to be judgmental of those with differing views, whether spiritual, religious, secular or political. These days, that last one is truly trying my patience, compassion and understanding.

My family life taught me to keep my mouth shut as my opinion was not respected as I was a bit more liberal than my parents. Perhaps, even then I was more concerned with humanity and the greater good for all than most people my age. Even now, I find it hard to speak up, even with an effort to simply explain my point of view and not persuade anyone to abandon their beliefs. I can only hope to enlighten them.

This brings the Serenity Prayer to mind with a few of my own realizations added:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

(the opinions, beliefs and attitudes of others)

the courage to change the things I can

(only my own opinions, beliefs and attitudes)

and the wisdom to know the difference.

(and the strength to hold back.)

Maybe that's why I've remained withdrawn a bit lately, even with some baby steps forward.

On to October, and the often difficult Queen of Swords.

And she's reversed. This could be interesting.

Bianco Nero Tarot. Marco Proietto
(c)2018, US Games, Inc.

A gorgeous Victorian

This Victorian was featured in
"Charmed"
1998-2006